Perdition
by Noirreigne
Summary: Chuck attempts to deal with Blair's death, only to find she is still alive and in the hands of his worst enemy. To what lengths will he go to woo her and punish the man responsible? B/C. AU/Future. Started mid season 2.
1. Chapter 1

To perdition, there to dwell.

-John Milton-

* * *

"Tell me again, Chuck. When did you first know that you loved me?" Her dark eyes, lit from within with a golden glow, gleamed against her pale icy complexion. Backlit by the flickering and dancing light from the nearby fireplace Blair looked ethereal. Chuck lounged on the antique cracked leather chair, a lead crystal glass of scotch resting heavy in his hand. Kneeling beside him, Blair laid her head gently on his knee. Tonight she wore a silk whisper of a gown. Draped loosely over her curves, it fanned the floor beneath her in waves of crimson.

"I didn't have any idea how much…" Chuck couldn't finish. Sliding towards oblivion he closed his eyes. His emotions dulled by the potency and warmth of eighty year scotch.

"The game is done. You have nothing left to lose," she sighed, her gaze never leaving him.

"Don't I?" Chuck asked, the heavy lids of his eyes fluttering open to watch her as she slowly rose. Long elegant white fingers trailed against his, prying the scotch from his hands and setting it to rest gently on the polished wood floor.

"I love you, Chuck. After everything, I still love you."

A reflex, born of self-preservation, stifled the rush of emptions, drowning them deep within.

"Blair, I can't…not anymore." Reaching down he grabbed his drink, the last drop sliding down his parched tongue. The soft shuffle of expensive leather shoes caught his attention. Standing at the edge of the entryway, golden hair gleaming like a tarnished halo was Nathaniel.

With trepidation Nate surveyed the room. With Chuck one never knew what you could be walking into. Soirees thick with hashish smoke and veiled Turkish dancers, spangled circus contortionists diluting absinthe into milky opalescence, or Almas caviar offered from the navels of identical twins. The very ordinariness of the current scene contrasted with the panic and pressure that had forced his visit.

"Enjoy playing the voyeur? How long have you been there?" Chuck rasped, forced back from the brink of Morpheus' desired embrace.

"A while," Nate said hesitatingly, peering into the shadows from the threshold of the room. Gone were the days he needed no invitation. "Who are you talking to?"

"What?" Chuck sluggishly looked over to the blankness in space beside him. There was no one. The faint scent of irises and carnations perfumed the air. Guerlain's L'Heure Bleue, Blair's signature scent.

"You were talking to someone—"

"Why are you here Archibald?"

Nate took a deep steadying breath. Perhaps they had been right to send him after all. "Serena stopped by. She's worried. You haven't visited or returned her calls in months. What was supposed to be a temporary leave of absence from Bass Industries seems to have become a debauched race to an early grave. I know you didn't work this hard to hand it all on a silver platter to Jack."

"I didn't know that you were Serena's personal envoy. Still trying to dip your wick into that honey pot? You do realize every cokehead and faux bohemian this side of the river has had a taste?" Chuck asked, his voice cruel. "Not that I care, but how is Vanessa these days"?

"Don't change the subject."

"Why? Am I to understand that after all these years, you finally got your shot and realized that your golden girl is not so golden or so sweet? At least Vanessa can stop torturing herself over how she will never be anything more than a way of assuaging Nate Archibald's guilt." Smirking nastily he sauntered over to the bottles lined atop the padded leather bar. Grabbing a crystal decanter he drained what remained of the scotch into his glass.

Nate's guilt left him unable to take offense. He had been passive, avoiding the obvious. Serena was right, he hadn't wanted to know things had gotten this bad. "Serena—"

"Serena—what? Listen Archibald, I am no longer interested in your pursuits and exploits. Embrace Krishna as your lord and savior, become a polygamist and marry Serena, Vanessa, all the virgins in Brooklyn, fuck a goat…I don't care."

"Chuck, you can't let Jack—"

"In case you have forgotten, we are no longer friends. I don't owe you an explanation for anything." Chuck interrupted. His voice remained steady even as his tense demeanor betrayed him. Violence barely contained, he stood muscles coiled and ready. "Jack has nothing that I haven't willingly given him.

Shocked Nate let slip the one question he didn't want to ask. "I …heard you say Blair..." Nate's voice softened and trailed into silence.

His mood shifting once more Chuck looked at Nate with utter indifference. "Does it ever haunt you?"

"I know you miss her." Nervously Nate ran his fingers through his hair, unsure of what he should say, what comfort he could offer. "I miss her. We all miss her, but you have to move on."

Chuck approached him slowly, stealthily. His hand gripped his drink, his knuckles white.

"Don't you dare give me the time heals all wounds bullshit," he said hoarsely.

Blair appeared beside Nate. Teasing she plucked a loose thread that dangled from the sleeve of his navy blazer. Satisfied with her efforts, she draped her arm around his waist. "He never loved me, Chuck. Not like you." Giving her trademark pout, she leaned in to rest her head against Nate's chest.

"Not now. Not when he's here." Chuck said gently, shaking his head.

Confused Nate looked around him searching for Chuck's newest dalliance and finding no one. "What's wrong with you? Your acting like someone else is here." Realization hit Nate slowly. "You see her don't you?"

"Get out!" Chuck hurled his drink against the wall beside Nate. Rivulets of liquid trickled haphazardly, silhouetting Blair in an amber web.

"She loved me. After everything, she was going to marry me. She chose me!" The memories precious and fragile deteriorated into feelings of yearning, anger and guilt. Even if he wanted too, there wasn't enough alcohol or a drug powerful enough to drive her away. She was everywhere and he was willingly slipping into madness.

"Please, Chuck. You need help. You can't go on like this. Come with me. We'll go see Serena, Eric and Lily. They miss you so much," Nate pleaded, unable to let go. The path Chuck was taking would leave them all damned to a life of guilt and regret. Blair's death had crippled them and Chuck's self-annihilation would destroy them

Chuck shrugged, offering Nate a Cheshire grin. "What can I say? I've always been a masochist." Blair's laughter sweetly flooded Chuck's ears. Untangling herself from Nate's side she glided back to the chair winking at him as she passed. Turning his head, Chuck watched her as she seated herself carefully, smoothing the folds of her dress. Lost in adoration Chuck could no longer be bothered. "Please go. I don't want to have you thrown out again. Once was enough for this lifetime."

"I can't leave you like this. I know things seem bad, but trust me they will get better. We just need too…" Nate pleaded, his words dissolving into air.

Chuck turned to the vision that awaited him. She was wearing that gown the night he proposed. Of course she hadn't worn it long…

* * *

_AN: I don't ever write, but I was in a strange mood. Comments and criticsm welcome. _

_Inspired by Connie._


	2. Chapter 2

"Did you get in to see him?" Serena asked. Her normal effervescent personality was absent, her face tense and drawn. She patted the seat next to her in an open invitation for Nate to join her on the plush sofa. He paused to admire the lovely picture she made, her hair bathed in the sunlight streaming in from the floor to ceiling picture windows. Her artistically, bordering on the obnoxious, decorated penthouse was uncharacteristically empty and somber. Normally teeming with manufactured gaiety from slumming socialites and various talented émigrés from the local artists' quarter, the place was unrecognizable.

Seating himself at her side, Nate contemplating the right words to describe his meeting with Chuck. "I did."

A mixture of relief, fear and hope danced across her features. "I thought you might. You're the one person I thought he might have neglected to add to his stupid do not admit list. Especially since you haven't spoken since …" Overwhelmed with emotion, she waited for the tremor in her voice to still before continuing. "I can't believe he has a list of people that are forbidden from The Palace."

"He never bothered to ban me." Nate's voice, tinged with bitterness, was at odds with the sorrow glinting in his eyes.

"That's what I was counting on, part of the reason I sent you. Well, that and I hoped that the sight of you would get some reaction out of him. Anything…"

"It got a reaction. Just not the one you probably expected."

"What do you mean?" Her delicate brows knitted in consternation, her jaw tightening, as she readied herself for Nate's news.

" Serena, it's bad. Worse than you expected." He hesitated to even say the words, knowing once spoken they would have to be acknowledged. "He sees Blair."

"What?" Her eyes widened in astonishment, her mouth falling open in shock.

He captured her gaze, intent on conveying his seriousness. "He sees Blair."

"What? Like a ghost?"

"Maybe. I don't know. " He was at a loss. He had no clue how to explain what he had witnessed. He would have thought the whole experience a dream if not for the fact he had just come from Chuck's and he was painfully awake. "I don't know. He was talking to her, like she was right there, in the room with us, standing next to me. "

Serena stood up, surprised and shaken. "Oh, God. What is he on? He actually sees her? I knew things were bad. The last time I saw him he was so weird. There were no sleazy innuendos. How could this happen?"

"It has to be drugs or alcohol. A combination of both? Maybe a mental breakdown? I don't know," he sighed heavily, his heart aching. "It's Chuck. Who knows what he's using."

Serena sat back down, looking at him warily. "I know this sounds crazy, but do you think maybe she is haunting him?" Aware of the incredulity and disbelief beginning to cloud his gaze she rushed the remaining words out before she lost courage. "They never did find her. Maybe she can't rest until we bring her home. You know she would hate being buried anywhere but the UES."

"You can't be serious."

"You're right. It's crazy." Sadly she shook her head, ridding herself of the fantasy. "I just would prefer to believe that Chuck isn't an insane addict and Blair is still hanging around in some crazy kind of after-life. "

"Me too. " Nate grasped her hand comfortingly.

Laying her head on his shoulder they sat quietly for a time, both lost in memories of Blair. The sunlight fading through the windows forced Serena back to the present. "We have to do something."

"What can we do? He's been a mess since Blair died. If doesn't matter if it is drugs or psychosis that is bringing her back, he won't want to risk losing her by getting treatment. He will stay on this path even if it kills him.

"We can't just sit back and do nothing. When Blair...when I found out..I knew that I, would never be whole again. If we lose Chuck I don't know how to come back from that." Tears filled her eyes, spilling over and rolling down her cheeks. Clumsily she brushed them away with the backs of her hands.

"I don't know what we can do. He's a grown man. What are we going to do lock him up?

"I don't know−" Temporarily tabling the suggestion, she quizzed Nate. "What exactly did he say when you saw him?"

"Not much. He may have forgotten to blackball me from his suite, but he wasn't happy to see me. He blames me." His voice resonated with hurt and remorse.

"He doesn't blame you," Serena said softly.

"He should." He exhaled sharply, shoving his hands in his pockets and slumping into the sofa.

"None of this was your fault, except the part where you used very bad judgment. Honestly Nate, what were you thinking?"

Head bowed, guilt aflame in his chest, he sighed. "I don't know. It's silly, but I never expected they would get married. It never bothered me that they were dating. Probably because I never expected them to last. You know how they were. Hating each other and swearing it was over one minute, screwing the next." Serena nodded, a smile hovering over her lips as she remembered. "When they got engaged, I couldn't stop thinking about Blair. Somewhere In the back of my mind, part of me, still expected we would find our way back to each other. Our future engagement and marriage was all she ever talked about from the time we were six. It was so entrenched in my head that every time I thought about marriage I pictured her. I always thought we had plenty of time. Then Chuck proposed and I had to at least let her know how I felt. It was only fair."

Serena looked at him in amused pity. "Nate, I love you, but you're an ass."

"I know. I was stupid. I would give anything to go back and change things. If I hadn't told Blair how I felt they never would've fought and she wouldn't have left. " He pressed his hands over his eyes to keep the tears at bay.

"Oh, Nate." Serena looked at him with sympathy, her voice aching with sadness. "I thought you knew. Her leaving had nothing to do with you. She had been planning that trip to Harold's for weeks. There is no way anyone could have predicted that the Bass jet would have mechanical problems. "

"I didn't know." Relief flooded Nate, lightening his soul. The crippling guilt he had carried for years slowly faded. All this time he had thought it was his fault Blair had got on the plane that day. "I thought he hated me, that he blamed me. I thought everything was my fault and that is why he had me thrown out of her funeral."

"Nate, no one blames you." This time Serena reached out to comfort him. "Chuck doesn't hate you. After the funeral he told me he didn't blame you for trying since he would've done the same. What he couldn't forgive was that when she left they were fighting about you. That's why he had you thrown out at the funeral. He couldn't bear to see you." The knowledge that she could have prevented some of this twisted and turned painfully within her. She had known Nate was pining for Blair, but she had assumed, given lack of encouragement, that his feelings would quickly ping pong elsewhere. He had yet to prove steadfast devotion to anything or anyone. She knew she couldn't have prevented Blair dying, but she could have prevented Nate's foolish declaration. Without it, Chuck would have never had reason to shut his best friend out. Together they could have prevented the suicidal downward spiral Chuck was now stuck in. "We need to do something. Maybe rehab or therapy? If he continues like this we will lose him too."

"I know you don't want to hear this, but Vanessa works with a lot of addicts over at the clinic and the one thing she's learned is you have to want help. We can't help Chuck unless he wants to be helped.

Serena shot him a look of withering disdain. "Vanessa?"

He stiffened, momentarily abashed. "She's been a really good friend." Under Serena's scornful scrutiny his voice wavered. "It's not like that. I care about her."

"Right." Her mocking voice lengthened the succinct word into a sentence

Suddenly wary, he chose to ignore the current direction the conversation was headed. "I don't know what we can do short of kidnapping and locking him up."

"Can we do that?" She asked her voice crisp and clear.

He gave her a side long glance of disbelief. "Serena−"

"We have got get him out of that hotel and into rehab. He will never go willingly if there is a chance he is going to lose his Blair fantasies by getting clean." While Serena abhorred manipulating and scheming, often finding herself an innocent participant in Blair's plans, for the first time in her life she thanked her best friend for the unwilling tutelage she had gained spending hours at her side.

"I don't even know if it is a substance abuse thing. Maybe it's some kind of breakdown. When I was there I only saw him drinking."

"It doesn't matter if it is drugs, alcohol, a psychotic break or all three. We are going to fix this." When it came to her loved ones, Serena's courage and determination knew no bounds. She knew things would never be the same, but there was a chance if they could reach Chuck, they could build something new. "I know this is drastic, but I think we should try and have him declared incompetent. That way we can force him to get help. "

"Are you serious?" He stared at her, complete surprise on his face.

"Perfectly. We can't let him continue like this. If anything happens to him Blair will come back and haunt us both. "

"She would, wouldn't she?" Nate shuddered. Thinking about Blair stopping in on his shopping trips and criticizing his choice of clothes, disparaging the amount of time he spent in Brooklyn, critiquing his relationship with Vanessa horrified him. Maybe there was a way to commit Chuck. Especially since he had gone all Howard Hughes on them. There was only one solution. "We have to go to Jack."

"No! Absolutely not."

"Serena, think about it. He is Chuck's only living relative. If anyone is going to have any clout in getting him committed it's going to be Jack."

"No." Her voice rose, hostile and angry.

Nate countered: "Be reasonable. There's no way a judge is going declare Chuck incapacitated without a relatives testimony. Besides he is the only logical choice for guardianship.

As much as she hated it his reasoning almost made sense. She felt dirty even contemplating the idea. "No. If we turn Chuck over to Jack he will have him locked up forever. More than likely he will bribe someone to poison him. "

"I know you hate him, but he isn't going to risk something like that. He already has what he wants. Chuck gave him power of attorney over his company shares soon after Blair died. As long as Bass Industries continues to makes money, Chuck wants nothing to do with it. That isn't going to change even if he does get better. There are too many memories of Blair there for him to ever go back. "

Serena bit her lip, considering. "You're probably right about that. Bass Industries was their kingdom." Her eye lit up in amusement. "Who would have thought Blair would have gotten that involved in business? "

Nate looked at her pointedly, sarcasm evident. "It wasn't like her at all to enjoy managing 1000's of minions. She wasn't opinionated at all about how things should be done."

"Right, she got to be Queen B. Except in a businessy, you control billions of dollars kind of way."

Nate took pleasure at the laughter that bubbled from her Serena's lips at the memories of business Blair. It had been so long since he had heard that lovely golden sound. Throwing her head back she groaned. "Ugh, I just hate dealing with Jack. I still can't believe Chuck hired him back after what happened with my Mom. "

"I think he realized no other hire was going to be as obsessive about the company as Jack was. As unpleasant as it was, he did apologize to Lily and they have managed to be cordial over the years. Besides I think he's changed a lot since then. I heard he got engaged. "

Serena considered a kinder gentler Jack for a second before dismissing the notion entirely. She knew from experience that leopards can't change their spots. "Poor girl, I hope she knows what she's getting into. My Mom may be civil to Jack, but she still hates him. She only tolerates him for Chuck. She didn't want him to lose the only blood family he has.

Nate silently agreed, but he realized that Jack was their best hope. Better to deal with the devil you know. "If we really want to help Chuck, Jack is the key. He has the power and clout to get legal guardianship of Chuck. Without his help we are left appealing to Chuck's sense of self preservation and we know how that will go."

"I hate this. I just don't see any other way. Do you think he will ever forgive us?" Wistful her eyes searched Nate's for benediction he was unable to give.

"I don't know." His voice faded to hushed stillness as the remaining sunlight fled the room.

* * *

A/N: I was planning to let this stand as a one-shot, but I couldn't let it go. Thanks go to my wonderful reviewers flipped, hopelessromantic549, SnowedUnderNJ, Dystopic Entropy and Felicia. Without your reviews I never would have continued writing. Your kind words were directly responsible for my other story Never Be Free. Let me know if I should continue this, perhaps adding a soap operaish twist.


	3. Chapter 3

Serena, flush from one too many trips to the martini bar tottered precariously across the black and white marble floors, weaving her way through the crowds. All legs and strappy heels in her thigh skimming silver halter dress, she was the subject of numerous admiring and lecherous glances. Dan Humphrey, firmly anchored at her side, deterred all potential suitors with a warning glare. Realizing their destination, he glanced heavenward, inwardly groaning.

Chuck stood detached from the crowd, boredom and ennui chiseled on his face. Oblivious to the gossip that swirled around him, he pointedly ignored the numerous sexual invitations flashed in his direction by young ladies eager gain his attention. Serena with Dan in tow, crossed the invisible lines Chuck had drawn that evening between himself and society. Reaching his side, her gaze settled on the glass in his hand, her brow furrowing with worry. Hesitating, she studied his demeanor, attempting to discern his mood.

"You're drinking," she said at last.

"How very observant of you, Sis." Smirking, he took another sip of scotch.

"Is that the best idea?"

Frowning, he contemplated her rudely. "Why? Still trying to find evidence to put me away? If drinking made one insane, half the people in this room would be in the nut house right now."

Flustered she ducked her head. "I'm sorry. I just thought…how many more times do I need to apologize?" She sucked on her lower lip, biting down and hoping that the pain would distract her from the tears beginning to well up in her eyes.

"You're not even close yet," he said brusquely, taking another drink.

Dan reached out gently grasping Serena's hand in comfort. "You have to stop punishing Serena for this. She was only trying to help you."

Chuck regarded him blankly. His earnest plea having no effect, Dan continued. "For some reason, I have yet to determine, she loves you. Loves you enough that she was willing to go to court and have you declared insane." His brow furrowed as he recognized his words hadn't come out the way he intended them too. "What−what I mean to say is…Serena thought she was acting in your best interests."

"I completely understand now." Chuck saluted the couple with his drink. "Thanks Humphrey, without you I never would have realized that it was love that made Serena plot to have me locked up in the Ostroff center for the rest of my life." His lips thinned in a sarcastic smile.

"You know what he means," she said reproachfully. Nervously she brushed some loose curls that had fallen from her chignon behind her ear. "What choice did you give me or Nate for that matter? You avoided everyone for months and when Nate went to see you, you were talking to− "Abruptly she stopped, realizing that the conversation they were having was merely a variation of all the ones they'd had since the intervention she had staged with Nate and Jack. Not yet defeated she decided on a new tactic. "What can I do to fix things, make them right between us?"

He leered at her suggestively. "I can think of a few, but I doubt you're limber enough." With a dismissive nod, he turned and headed towards the bar.

Dan bristled at Serena's side. "I don't know why you bother. That guy's just as much of an asshole now as he was in high-school. He's never going to understand what you were willing to go through for him."

"No, this is good." Pleased, a smile touched her lips, giving way to a grin as she mulled over the conversation. "We're getting somewhere. He didn't look like he was visualizing 101 ways to make me disappear and there was definitely a sexual innuendo in there, right?"

Dan looked at her puzzled. "I'm pretty sure the limber thing was meant sexually−that is I would assume−not that you're not limber..."

Clasping her hands around his neck, Serena planted a wet kiss on his lips to the amusement of bystanders. "This is wonderful. He's starting to forgive me. He's finally acting like Chuck," she murmured near his ear.

Bewildered, but pleased to once more have Serena in his arms Dan couldn't resist one parting shot before his lips found hers again. "Are we sure that's a good thing?"

Chuck wandered aimlessly amid the throng, glass of scotch permanently fixed in his grasp. Just as the Red Sea parted so did the crowds as he walked through them. He didn't blame them. He knew he was a constant source of speculation. Of course Serena and Nate with their good intentions hadn't helped. He wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for their interference. Ever since their little intervention, he had made a point of being seen sane at all Bass Industries public functions. He still left the running of the company to Jack, choosing instead to take on the role of public figure head for his own self-preservation as well as the companies. Stockholders didn't take well to the idea that the majority share holder might be loony. There was a bit of a run on the market when the gossip first hit, but steadily with each appearance he made the stock had stabilized and now it was skyrocketing.

He had to admire Jack for putting this event together. It was through him that Bass Industries had acquired several experimental drug companies. They had made a killing patenting a neurological agent that was now used to treat disorders involving the central nervous system. The massive profit they accrued had made a charitable tax write-off a necessity, hence this evening celebrating their recent gift of a new wing at the local hospital devoted to neurology.

It was attending things like this that made him painfully aware of his loss. Blair would have loved being here. She lived for these things. Charity events always made her feel benevolent, especially since she could help people and look pretty at the same time without having to dirty her hands by mixing with the subjects of her generosity. As his wife she would have reigned over the entire party, making sure everything was perfect, posing for pictures, deciding who was worthy of a handshake and who merited a few words of conversation, reminding everyone why she was the undisputed queen.

Lost in thought, he almost missed _her_. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a flash of crimson, a long dark ringlet streaked with honey highlights, a pale shoulder. For a brief shaky moment he pondered the idea that she might have come back. While he had convinced everyone that his visions were the result of alcohol and cocaine binges, the truth was, he really didn't know. He knew he wasn't crazy, yet for a few months she was everywhere, constantly fluttering in and out of his consciousness, a blessing and a curse. It wasn't until soon after Nate's visit that she finally disappeared into that good night. Devastated yet relieved at the loss he had assumed it was all part of the grieving process. It had certainly helped strip Nate and Serena of their foolish assumptions. He still wasn't quite sure if Jack was disappointed or pleased by his obvious sanity. Agreeing to abstain from alcohol and drugs for a month was hard but ultimately worth the price since it halted all legal action to declare him incompetent. Dumping his drink on the nearest waiter borne silver tray, he gave into compulsion, following the slender form as it glided between emaciated socialites and their bored dates.

Like a hunter, he stalked her; predator to prey. Mesmerized he watched the sway of her hips, the way her curls slid around her shoulders, they way she held her champagne glass. Recognizing each little detail, his heart hammered in his chest. With each step closer to the object of his gaze, his breath grew shorter, ragged. He had to be hallucinating, but why here? Why now? Panicking, he couldn't stop, couldn't turn away. Like a sailor to the Sirens call he had no choice. She led him away from the main ballroom to one of the smaller reception rooms where local artists had placed their work for viewing. Quieter here, small groups of people mingled among the pictures and sculptures being put up for auction that night. Heart crashing in his ears, he stood behind her as she stopped to scrutinize blobs of paint that looked like vomit on canvas.

She had felt his eyes on her almost immediately. Aware of her charms and used to being ogled, she casually dismissed him, another bored playboy looking for his next score. It was only when she sensed he was following her that a prickle of fear appeared between her shoulder blades. Increasingly uncomfortable, she wandered the party hoping he would weary of the chase and move on to easier pickings. Her uneasiness grew as she realized he was undeterred. Joining the small crowd browsing artwork, she stopped to look, knowing that if she needed to give him a few choice words it would be less likely to cause a scene here than in the ballroom. His footsteps stopped behind her, with primitive awareness or some sixth sense she knew he was there inches away, staring at her. She stared straight ahead. Not bothering to turn around, she hoped he would take the hint. Becoming more uncomfortable by the minute, she was forced to take action.

"Are you stalking me?" she asked rudely. Her voice was simultaneously an answer to his prayers and his ultimate fear. "Because I'm warning you, I'm quite skilled at the art of torture by stiletto."

His breath caught in his throat, a strangled sound escaping his lips, "Blair?"

She turned, facing him. Glaring, she put her hands on her hips. "So…not only are you a stalker, you don't even know who you're stalking. I knew New York was full of crazies."

Dumbfounded, Chuck stared, endeavoring to process what his brain knew couldn't be true. Her expression of irritation stilled, softening to concern. "Is something wrong? Please don't get sick on my shoes."

Meeting his eyes directly, she was trapped. As if in a dream she reached out, her fingers inches from his cheek. "Do I know you?" she breathed. Realizing the impropriety of the situation she forced her hand back to her side, fisting the crimson silk of her dress.

A volcano on the edge of erupting, Chuck violently bound his thoughts and emotions, tamping them deep within, forcing self restraint. Applying tactics learned at his father's knee, lessons learnt from observing the rise and fall of societies finest, he fortified himself for the battle ahead.

"We'll find out won't we?" Flashing a dangerous smile, he held out his hand. "I find it hard to believe that anyone having met you could ever forget you." She hesitated, unsure. There was a ferociousness about him, thrilling and frightening her at the same time.

"I'm Chuck Bass."

His dark gaze impaled her and a war of emotions raged within her.

"Bass…how funny," she murmured. Momentarily distracted she gave him her hand. Expecting the customary handshake she inhaled sharply when he instead raised her fingers to his lips. "Audrey." She forgot to breathe as his lips brushed her fingertips. "Audrey Hawthorne. Like the actress and the author." Irritated by her strange reactions and the disorientation he aroused, she wrenched her hand free. She wanted to rub it angrily against her dress, wipe his kiss from her fingers but she couldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing how he affected her.

"Audrey." His silky voice held a challenge.

She needed air, he was devouring her. Panicking, she searched the room for a familiar face. She almost collapsed in relief when she felt a familiar hand slide around her waist. Leaning into the comfort of his embrace, she tried to make sense of her conflicted emotions and out of character behavior.

"Chuck, I see you've met my fiancé." Jack Bass smiled insolently, triumph glittering in his eyes.

The world stopped, everything disappearing before Chuck's eyes. Silence loomed, tension increasing with frightening intensity. At the edge of a precipice Chuck stood still, murderous rage barely contained. Eyes flat and hard he calculated various actions and their consequences.

Holding her close, Jack regarded Chuck with pleasure. "Audrey, this is my nephew Chuck. "

Audrey smiled faintly. "I didn't know. I thought…" Her mind reeled, sensing something horribly amiss, but unable to pinpoint it. She was ill, sicker than since the accident. She wanted-no she needed to leave now.

Registering her distress as she trembled in his arms, Jack gave in. "It's late. Why don't we head back to the hotel?" Uncertain and scared, she nodded in response. "I'll have the car brought around. Why don't you get your wrap and I'll meet you where we came in." Leaning in, he placed a brief kiss on her lips.

Feeling uncomfortable, having always considered public displays of affection gauche, she stepped away towards the coat check. Midstride, she hesitated briefly. Surprising herself, she made an unexpected decision. Looking over her shoulder she caught Chuck's eye and smiled. "It was nice to meet you Chuck." The name slipped from her lips, familiar and strange. Embarrassed and annoyed at her behavior she quickened her pace, practically running from the room. Two sets of eyes watched her lithe form disappear into the crowd.

Chuck advanced on Jack; a wild animal leashed only by the years spent being conditioned by Bart in social decorum. "What the hell did you do?"

"Why couldn't you have just followed through on your nihilistic streak and let the booze and drugs kill you?" Bitterness glinted in Jack's eyes, his society mask slipping. "Feeling a bit insane?"

"Sorry to disappoint. Unless thinking of all the ways I can make you suffer without quite killing you is crazy. In that case I'm stark raving mad." Teeth bared, his lips thinned into a sadistic smile. "The Chinese developed a wonderful method centuries ago, death by a thousand cuts; I think that's a good place to start."

A muscle quivered along Jack's jaw. "Cause me pain and you hurt her. Do you really want to do that?"

Suddenly it occurred to him. Pain, stark and vivid shimmered in his eyes. "There was no way anyone could have survived that crash. Was Blair ever even on that plane?" His voice was thick, raw.

"No."

"You sick motherfucker." He leaned in close, whispering a deadly vow. "I will annihilate you."

Chuck's words echoed like an empty tomb in Jack's head. "You can try, but I've played this game since before you were born and without a silver spoon in my mouth. If you need a reminder look at my pretty fiancé, she's the result of what happened the last time you decided to tangle with me."

Not giving him the satisfaction of a response, Chuck merely smiled. If he was a religious man, Jack would have sworn he saw the devil in his nephew's eyes. A tiny icicle of fear stabbed his spine, turning the blood in his veins to ice. For the first time in his life he experienced regret. Before it could flourish, he ruthlessly destroyed the wayward emotion. Because when it came down to it there was only room enough in the world for one Bass. One of them would have to be sacrificed and he'd be damned if it was going to be him.

The gauntlet thrown down, Chuck turned his back on his only blood relative. Sliding his phone from his pocket, he gripped it tightly, dialing a number he hadn't called in over a year. "Serena, I think I may have a way for you to make things right between us. "

* * *

_AN: As always, thanks go to my wonderful reviewers. Cookies for **JD**, **hopelessromantic549**, **SnowedUnderNJ**, **JenCort81** and **Lee Rion**. Eternal gratitude goes to **Wendy(theskylitup)** and **Felicia(puresimplicity-xo)**. I apologize for the crazy and highly implausible plot. Let me know if you would like me to continue. All comments and criticism are welcome. _


	4. Chapter 4

For the first time in years he vetoed the scotch, choosing instead to have a continuous stream of steaming pots of black coffee delivered one after another to his suite. No cream, no sugar not even his usual drop of Irish whiskey to make it palatable. He was done chasing the ignorant bliss found only while in the grip of drugs and alcohol. Painfully sober, he tried not to contemplate the years lost and his own culpability. He had so wholly given himself to Blair and their future that he forgot who he was, what made him a Bass. He had been so blinded by his love for her that he neglected the warning signs and ignored the rising undercurrents. He had become weak, allowing himself to be played, and because of this Blair became the sacrificial lamb to Jack's obsession with power and control.

Chuck knew he was on the mission of his life; his only hope of happiness, redemption and ultimately revenge hinged on his wits. Those instinctual skills of deceit, manipulation, and cruelty allowed to lapse in Blair's arms and almost forgotten with her supposed death were reborn. Cold and calculated he refused to consider or even think about what she suffered, what horrors had been done to her. That path would only lead to insanity, thereby granting Jack his wish.

It was with grave trepidation and distress that two figures entered the suite of Chuck Bass. Serena having ditched her party dress rubbed her hands anxiously against the faux worn denim jeans hugging her thighs. Her eyes, beautifully bruised and smudged from crying, blearily took in the sight before her. Gone was the hedonist pleasure den of exotic furniture, dim light and smoky air. For the first time since Chuck had moved into the suite the mirrored bar was bare of alcohol. Harsh light flooded the room; every surface littered with photos, papers and overstuffed files. Furniture had been pulled to the sides of the room, the focus now a large conference table.

In confusion, Nate stood at the threshold, gaping like a fish pulled from water. It took the pain of Serena's nails embedding in his hand to break the spell and return his jaw to its rightful position.

Chuck even with no sleep and his world torn asunder couldn't stop the small twitch of amusement that played in the corner of his mouth. If this had been any other situation the picture of Nate and Serena staring in wonderment like early Victorians observing the marvels of a flushing toilet would have left him chortling with humor. Instead he was irritated by the time that was going to be lost in explanations, questions and arguments.

Serena cleared her throat anxiously. "Chuck, I know you don't want help, but you have a problem. Nate and I care about you and we're not going to sit back and play into your delusions that Blair is alive. We've talked about it and decided we're not leaving here tonight until you agree to get professional help."

He rose from his makeshift desk impatiently. "Look I know you think I'm a lunatic, but Blair is alive and I can prove it."

Nate looked at Serena, his shocked expression mirroring hers. He couldn't believe how causally Chuck affirmed what Serena had hysterically told him earlier. He took a step forward cautiously as if approaching a wild animal and gingerly reached out and grasped Chuck's shoulder.

"I think you've had enough to drink tonight, Chuck." Catching Serena's eye he silently communicated his wish for her to follow his lead. "It's late. Why don't you let us help you get to bed? We'll stay the night and we can talk about this in the morning when our heads are a bit clearer."

Serena lifted a hand to her lips, faking a yawn. "Nate's right. It's been a long night. You should get some sleep." She gave Chuck an exaggerated clownish wink. "I'll even tuck you in."

Chuck roughly shook off Nate's arm, looking at the two of them in disbelief. "No wonder Blair was forced to do all your plotting and scheming for you. What is this, the Serena and Nate intervention comedy hour?"

He turned around abruptly, rummaging through a pile of documents. Finding the file he sought he slid a sheet out, running the pad of his thumb reverently over the glossy image. In a quick motion he cleared some space on the table, carefully arranging the sheet. Turning around he stepped aside gesturing in triumph at the grainy photograph.

"Just a small sample of the proof I've gathered."

Hesitating, Nate and Serena looked at each other. Reaching a mutual agreement, they stepped forward and huddled over the table. Dreading the worst Serena braced herself, praying that Chuck's wasn't using pornographic material as evidence to for his delusions. Peering down her eyes centered immediately on the elegant brunette dressed in Valentino, sipping champagne.

"B," she choked, her cry strangled in her throat.

Nate looked up at Chuck in amazement. "The time-stamp on this is from tonight," he said, picking up the image to study it closer.

Chuck picked up another pile of photographs fanning them out on the table. "These are all stills from the surveillance video recordings from the Bass Benefit tonight. "

Nate shook his head confused. "This can't be right. Someone is playing a cruel trick on you."

Serena held her breath afraid of waking from the dream she found herself in. Her vision blurred, she lingered over each photograph, delicately fingering every one. Chuck watched her in silence as tears slid down her cheeks and dripped one by one onto each image leaving a permanent stain. Midway through the sequence she paused and slid one of the pictures out. Turning she looked at Chuck in awe, radiating hope.

"You spoke to her?" Brushing away the tears on her cheeks she gave Chuck a smile of pure sunshine.

Nate looked at them in worry. They were arrested in time, caught in a world of blurry photographs.

"It was her, Serena. I wouldn't lie to you, not about this." Chuck said fiercely.

"Why hasn't she called, come to see us?" Nate asked, becoming for once the voice of reason.

Doubt crept into Serena's face as she looked to Chuck for answers. Like a pilgrim before a holy shrine, his eyes shone with fervor. "She didn't know me, but it was her. She accused me of stalking her. She even threatened to attack me with her stilettos. Only our girl would do that," he chuckled.

Serena nodded, unable to speak. It had to be Blair. There could be no other explanation after seeing the photos yet she knew this wasn't her Blair. Something horrible must have happened to her, but she was afraid if she questioned the gift they'd been given it would be taken away.

Nate sighed, "That doesn't prove anything."

Serena returned to the girl in the photographs, searching for the traits and mannerisms she remembered in her friend.

Chuck clenched his fists in anger. "I don't need to prove anything. He all but admitted it to me. I just don't know how he did it or how to undo it."

"Who did what?" Nate asked softly, patiently.

Serena's eagle eye immediately picked up on the one person she never expected to have his arm around Blair. With her fingertip she slid the photograph out for them all to see.

"Jack," she breathed, looking to Chuck for confirmation.

His face twisted into a dark caricature, evil and terrifying. "He's had her this whole time. She never got on that plane. "

"Jack Bass? Your Uncle Jack?" Nate asked with astonishment.

"The one and only," he answered grimly.

"Is she okay?" Serena asked pleadingly, praying that what she already knew in her heart was wrong.

"Of course she's not okay. She doesn't know who the hell she is," Chuck said condescendingly.

"There wasn't a plane crash?" Nate asked, looking lost.

"Pay attention Archibald." Agitated Chuck ran his fingers through his hair. "I'm still trying to figure out how he did it, but since I collected the insurance there definitely was a plane crash. She just wasn't on the plane. I don't know what he did to make her forget; brainwashing or hypnosis…"

It was all starting to make sense to Serena. Excited she waved one of the photographs of Blair and Chuck in front of Chuck. "Who exactly does Blair think she is?"

"Audrey, Audrey Hawthorne," he said with bitter humor.

"Audrey. Of course it would be Audrey." She smiled, remembering the countless hours spent trapped in front of the television watching Sabrina, Breakfast at Tiffany's, Roman Holiday and Charade. "It's the name Blair would have chosen for herself if she was to start a new life," Serena reckoned, glancing at Nate. She handed him a stack of photographs, forcing him to accept the impossible. "Why Hawthorne?"

"I can only assume the reference is Nathaniel Hawthorne," Chuck said dryly, looking at Nate. "Either it's my Uncle's attempt at a joke or the names were chosen purely because they would be easy for Blair to connect with, remember."

"How is it possible? How can you be sure it's her," Nate asked, staring fixedly at the blurry image of a lovely young woman with Blair's face, her figure, even her sparkling eyes talking to Jack Bass.

"Trust me, it was Blair. The way she spoke, the way she moved, her personality. It was all Blair. She introduced herself as Audrey Hawthorne, but before I could talk to her more Jacked showed up announcing himself as her fiancé."

"What?" Serena's head snapped up in astonishment.

Nate looked at Chuck in befuddlement, Serena's shriek, thrusting him out of the spell cast by the vision in the photographs. "Why?" He desperately wanted more than anything for this to be Blair, but he couldn't understand how or why anyone would be so cruel.

Chuck's expression hardened into one of pure hatred. "When my father died he was devastated he didn't get a piece of the company. After he failed to sabotage my early attempts at running the company and Lily outsmarted him by adopting me I think he became obsessed, desperate. He bided his time waiting to strike at the perfect time. Once the news of my engagement broke he knew he had found the perfect way to punish me. He made me believe that the one person I cared about more than anything in the world was dead. He had every reason to believe after what happened when I lost my dad that I wouldn't survive. I would drink myself into an early grave or jump off a roof. As the last surviving Bass he would inherit everything."

"Why didn't he just kill her?" Nate asked brokenly, finally accepting the unbelievable. Blair was alive. For the first time he realized that true evil existed not only in far away war torn countries, but here within the sheltered vacuum of the Upper East Side.

"She was the ultimate weapon of revenge if I didn't self destruct according to plan. She is the one thing guaranteed to make me suffer, bring me to my knees. He is playing with me like a cat toys with a mouse. His greatest miscalculation was not realizing that none of this was necessary. I would have given everything, even Bass Industries, to ensure Blair's safety. Now the game has changed and I want more. He stole years from Blair's life, broke her, and for that he needs to pay. I will destroy him; make him understand what real suffering is," Chuck swore.

Serena inhaled sharply. She could almost feel the floor under her feet crack, the air blacken and thicken as Chuck sold his soul to the devil. For the first time her natural instinct to advocate for forgiveness and mercy was thwarted by a blood thirsty need for vengeance. She finally understood the biblical cry for reciprocal justice, 'an eye for an eye'. "What are you going to do?"

He avoided the question. "Right now my priority is Blair. I've got a whole staff of investigators combing through Jack's financial records, searching for clues as to where she might have spent the last two years. There's an entire task force of medical doctors searching for possible psychological and neurological causes for her amnesia, her acceptance of a new identity. There is nothing that's been done that can't be undone."

Serena looked at her phone incredulously, checking the time. "You did all that in the last four hours?"

"You'd be surprised at what I can accomplish if properly motivated," Chuck smirked.

"You don't know it can be undone, " Nate objected, seeing the danger in Chuck's reasoning that Chuck refused to see. "Meddling further you could risk breaking her completely. There is only so much the mind can handle before it breaks down completely. After living a double life for years my dad was on the verge of a nervous breakdown before he was caught. He's never been the same since," Nate objected.

"You can't possibly compare what's been done to Blair to the Captain's bad choices and reckless behavior," Chuck retorted. "Blair would prefer death over being stripped of her identity and forced like a puppet to dance to the strings of Jack Bass. If she were here she would be furious, demanding we do something, _anything_ which would release her from the prison she's in. Damn the consequences."

"I know you want to rush in and save her, I do too but we have to very careful. We don't want to risk doing more damage. If Audrey is anything like Blair she's not going to be receptive to strangers barging into her life telling her she's not who she thinks she is. If anything she will go out of her way to prove we're wrong regardless of the evidence," Serena cautioned.

"I don't know Serena. I think we should just go see her right now and tell her that her whole life is a lie. I'm sure she'll be thrilled to find she's a dead ringer for my deceased fiancé. Chuck said sarcastically, looking at her in disbelief, all but rolling his eyes. "How stupid do you think I am?"

"Chuck−"Nate interjected warningly.

"Don't worry. I'm not going to do anything that will push her even further into Jack's arms. He doesn't need any more ammunition to convince her that I'm a dangerous lunatic to be avoided at all costs. I have to be much more subtle than that. We need to treat them with kid gloves, not only to protect Blair, but to lull Jack into thinking he's winning. That's why I need both of you. I need people I can trust." Chuck took the opportunity to look pointedly at Nate before continuing. "This is a very dangerous game I'm about to play and it has to be executed flawlessly. Blair's life is at stake."

"He won't try and kill her?" Serena asked worriedly.

Chuck shrugged, his eyes cold. "It's too late now. If that was his intention he would have already done it. He knows having her alive and dependent on him is the most effective form of torture he could ever exact on me. Besides he always liked her, she could see though his bullshit, and he enjoyed that about her. The whole situation is probably the equivalent of a sublime blow job to his perverted mind.

"Chuck, I'm really sorry about what happened with Blair before…" Nate looked at Chuck, his face flushing in shame. "Anything you need, anything you want… I'm here for you and Blair. I need to make things right."

"Trust me you will," Chuck replied grimly.

"I guess from the looks of things," Serena paused, glancing around the room. "We're leaving the plotting and planning to you. What can I do to help?"

"Be her friend."

"What?" Serena asked, looking at him quizzically.

"She needs a friend right now. All she has is Jack, she doesn't know anyone here. Introduce yourself, work your BFF magic on her," he said as fond memories of Serena and Blair giggling, getting drunk for the first time, dancing together at their first formal poked at his consciousness.

"How can I do that? She doesn't know me from the sales girl at Bendel's"

"That's the thing." Chuck offered a sudden with a sudden, arresting smile. His harsh features softened, his eyes glowing with a warmth Nate and Serena hadn't witnessed since Blair supposedly got on that plane a little over two years ago. "When I talked to her tonight, even though she didn't know me, she recognized me. I could see it in her eyes; her mind was at war with her heart. She sensed something there between us, something Jack couldn't completely erase. She may go by the name 'Audrey', but Blair is in there. Her memories and experiences are all there percolating under the artificial persona that was created. With time they will slowly trickle out, with each push and prod of the familiar, until all that remains is Blair."

"How will I get to her? Won't Jack be guarding her? Do I pretend I don't know she's Blair?"

He shook his head and reached for his neglected coffee cup. "Jack won't have her locked up. There's no reason to keep her hidden. He already used her to make his point with me. I'm having her followed; you just need to be on call, ready to leave at a moment's notice so you can accidentally run into her."

Nate and Serena watched in surprise as he took a sip of coffee, wrinkling his nose in distaste. "I wouldn't mention to her that you think her fiancé faked her death and then set her up with a new identity. You should probably mention her resemblance to your good friend Blair Waldorf. If you don't someone else will and then she will think you lied to her and your burgeoning friendship will be over before it starts." He poured fresh steaming coffee from the pot into his mug. "Use your instincts, your Blairdar if you will. You managed to earn her friendship once I'm sure you can do it again. She's new to the city; use this to show her around, jog her memory a bit."

"My Blairdar?" Serena questioned, arching one slim eyebrow.

"That special intuitive ability to read Blair's moods that you've developed from years of friendship," he said with a dismissive gesture."

"Oh, that," she laughed, studying the coffee cup in his hand. She couldn't remember the last time she had seen him drinking anything other than scotch. For the first time in years her heart felt light. She could almost glimpse the happiness waiting for them around the bend.

"What about Jack? Won't he try and stop Serena from spending time with Blair? Maybe even hurt her for getting involved?" Nate questioned.

"As long as she doesn't cause Blair distress or threaten him directly it should be fine. Subtlety is the key here. If she accepts Blair as Audrey there will be no need for him to get involved."

"What I don't understand is how he thinks he can pull off introducing her into society as Audrey Hawthorne, his fiancée, with no one ever challenging him on it," Nate puzzled. He couldn't even begin to comprehend the imagining of such a scheme let alone the mechanics to carry it off. Even Blair at her worst never delved this far with her plotting and machinations. Knowing Chuck, this ability, this destructive creativity, must somehow be a Bass genetic defect.

"That's the thing Nate, haven't you ever noticed how oblivious society is? Blair Waldorf has been dead for several years so why should anyone assume that Jack Bass's fiancée, Audrey Hawthorne, is anything other than who he says she is. They might comment cattily on her looking very similar to his nephew's deceased fiancé, hinting that the resemblance must be some sordid sexual perversion of Jack's but no one is going to publicly call him out on it, deviate from their lemming like behavior. If I know him at all he's eagerly anticipating me making a disgustingly public scene and then when Audrey convincingly denies that she's Blair Waldorf he will have proved my mental instability once and for all. By the way, I don't think I ever thanked you properly for playing right into his hands with that attempted intervention a few months ago," he said sarcastically, shooting them a sour look. "I'm sure he had a field day with that. Sorrowfully discussing what should be done about the Bass heir to all the board members. "

Nate rushed to their defense. "Everything we did was out of friendship for you. I thought you were hallucinating, killing yourself. We had no idea−"

Chuck abruptly interrupted him. He didn't have time for, and strangely he no longer cared about apologies and retribution. "Forget it. I'm going to. "

Nate knew this was his chance to make amends, rid himself of his guilt. "What do you want me to do? Where do I fit into your plans?"

Chuck rubbed at his eyes, tiredly. "Help and support Serena. Keep up with the gossip; make sure that Audrey's introduction to society goes smoothly and maybe drop a few hints that you're a bit concerned about my behavior lately. Jack needs to feel confident, triumphant that he is winning. You move close enough in his circles that you can observe them, let me know about any shifts in their relationship."

Serena watched them, a slow smile spreading across her face. She would never have believed that it would be Blair that would bring Nate and Chuck back to a place of friendship once more. "Now that you've given Nate and I our assignments what exactly are your plans?"

""I think it's better you don't know," he said cryptically. He didn't mind gambling with his own life, but if anything happened to him Blair was going to need them. They needed to be kept safe, separate from any possible fallout. Besides God only knew the two of them, with their helpfulness, would end up being more of a liability than a help.

"Chuck, we're in this together. You can't just shut us out," Serena pleaded.

"I can and I will. Focus your energy on Blair. She's going to need you."

A wave of apprehension swept through Nate. "You're not going to kill him are you? Don't Chuck. You don't want to do that."

"Don't worry murder is too easy, not nearly fulfilling enough. I deserve my pound of flesh before the devil gets him for eternity. Let's just say when I'm through with him, he will long for perdition." He politely began ushering them to the door. "Now go. I've got doctors I need to consult with and investigators I need to talk too. I'll keep you informed."

Serena stopped in front of the door, refusing to be so easily dismissed. "That's not good enough. We need to set up a conference time."

"Conference?" Chuck asked, raising one eyebrow mockingly.

"You know, a meeting that includes an exchange of ideas," Serena said innocently, deliberately misunderstanding him. She wasn't about to let Chuck relegate her to the sidelines. She knew that the breakfast club, even minus one member, was their best weapon.

"I really don't think that's necessary," he argued, dismissing the idea outright.

"Well Blair's well being is. We need to make sure she's handling her return to New York okay. You mentioned her memories could be close to the surface. She might need us and we need to be prepared to help her. We know her better than any doctor ever could and our input along with theirs is the best strategy for helping her." Serena looked at Chuck pointedly, knowing that she'd already won. He would never refuse anything that might help Blair.

"Fine," Chuck grumbled, practically pushing Nate and Serena out the door of his suite.

"Great! I'm thinking every other evening around five. Early enough that it won't interfere with the evening's social events. Of course, we can easily change it if I have plans with B," Serena chirped cheerily, pausing in the doorway to give him a quick excited sisterly hug.

Nate followed Serena's lead and let himself be almost rudely escorted from Chuck's suite. It was a small price to pay for what he and Serena had gained this night. "Works for me, I'll be there," Nate said brightly, grateful for Serena's quick thinking. This kept them firmly in the loop and kept Chuck from dealing with this on his own. He wouldn't make the same mistake twice. This time he was going to force himself into Chuck's life whether he liked it or not. He frowned as he realized what was missing from their discussion. While Chuck clearly already had a particularly unpleasant future planned for Jack he had made no mention of his plans in regards to Blair. Just before the door closed behind him he turned.

"What are you planning to do about Blair once Jack is taken care off?"

"What I always intended, make her mine," Chuck vowed ruthlessly, closing the door.

* * *

_a/n: Please let me know what you like or dislike or just comment to let me know that you are still reading. It helps so much to have reader feedback._

_Thanks and gratitude to all my wonderful reviewers. Without you I never would have continued this story. Love goes too **SilkenBone922**, **cityhorizon**, **nostalgiakills**, **Melena Gold**, **odyjha**, **mary1415**, **Badly-Drawn-Boy**, **LieselBass**, **dianecp**,** flipped**, **JD**, **SnowedUnderNJ**, **hiddenletter**, **Syriaonara**, **IngridMarie**, **akimat**, **Lee Rion**, **:D**, **Crystal** and **GossipGirlFanForever**._

_I apologize for the lack of C/B in this chapter, but I needed to set the scene for the seduction and revenge that is to come. As for the flames I received in regards to the last chapter I'm sorry that you find the story offensive. I can't please everyone. There are so many other C/B stories here that I'm sure you will find something else more to your taste._

_Last and most important I owe a debt to my beta, the magnificent Felicia (puresimplicity-xo), that I'm not sure how I will ever repay. :D_


	5. Chapter 5

Serena ducked awkwardly behind a rack of Gucci sunglasses, her eyes never leaving the trim figure in blue that was daintily exploring through the store. Observing Blair in her natural habitat, Bendel's department store, was a bit like an anthropologist studying a wild and beautiful creature. She bit back a most unladylike snort as she recalled her zoology college course. She felt rather like Diane Fosse on the trail of the silver back gorilla or in this case the elusive Blair Waldorf. This was Serena's personal Gorillas in the Mist or Waldorf in High-end Retail. Caught for a moment in the horror that was safari khaki she lost control of her bag, freeing several thousand dollars worth of plastic and titanium sunglasses from their enclosures. The quiet hum of the store was broken as the shades skittered across the marble floor like beetles over sand. Flushing with embarrassment she crouched down and scooped up the errant spectacles, shoving them haphazardly back on the rack. Frowning she realized there was one empty space, one pair still missing. Getting down on hands and knees she peered under the display. Nothing. Crawling around on the plush carpet, she ran her eyes over every inch of the floor. She puffed a sigh of relief as she finally located the glasses lying lazily on their side before a narrow navy Jimmy Choo shod and rhythmically tapping foot. She groaned inwardly as her eyes slid from the shoe up over the blue lace tights to the familiar face peering down at her in disdain. This was not happening. She couldn't believe that after three years spent believing Blair was dead; their first meeting was going to occur with her on her knees practically staring up her best friend's skirt. When she pictured their joyous reunion, which she had hourly since seeing Chuck's proof, it never went like this. While there hadn't been a choir of angels or heavenly rays of light, it certainly didn't happen like this.

"Sorry about that," she giggled nervously, palming the glasses. "Naughty things just ran away from me." Rising to her feet she grinned like an idiot as she looked upon her dearest friend for the first time in three years. She studied Blair's face for a glimmer, a twinkle; any hint that maybe she recognized her. There was nothing there other than an expression of bored irritation at having her shopping rudely interrupted. Physically there was no differentiation between old Blair and new Blair or Audrey. The burnt caramel eyes, wavy brunette hair and even the smirking ruby lips were all the same and from what little she had seen so was the personality. It was eerie, yet strangely comfortable at the same time.

Blair appraised her coolly, scanning Serena from her messy blonde curls down to her Mahnolo shoes. Her gaze missed nothing as she calculated the designer's of her clothes, the quality of her makeup and the care she put into her appearance.

"I would really try a pair that detracts instead of highlights that angular shaped chin of yours," Blair said condescendingly, looking down her nose. "Perhaps a larger more aviator type?"

Serena nodded excitedly, the thrill of hearing her best friends voice filtering out the insult. "Of course, why didn't I see that? Maybe you could help me pick out a pair that would work better?"

Blair drew her phone from her Birkin bag, checking the time. "I hate to leave you to the mercies of the sales staff since you obviously need my help, but I'm meeting my fiancé for lunch."

Serena's face fell in disappointment, her eyes misting with tears. "Are you sure you couldn't…"

Blair contemplated Serena in puzzlement. There was something uncanny, familiar about this girl. Normally she would have brushed someone like her off with a sneer and an insult, and left her to suffer the inadequate help from the store staff. Instead, she felt drawn to help her even though it was only over something as silly as sunglasses. Decision made she walked over to the sunglasses rack, frowning at the wreckage the helpless girl had left behind. Really, she was just like one of those big-eyed cutesy child figurines that she abhorred. "This one would compliment your features the best," she said authoritatively, handing over a pair.

Serena gratefully tried them on even though the last thing she needed was another pair. "They're perfect. Thank you so much."

"Not a problem." Her good deed done for the day Blair turned to leave.

"Wait." Serena racked her brain for an excuse, anything to prolong her time with her old friend. After the Blair drought of the last three years she desperately craved her company, even if her friend had no clue who she was. "I'm Serena van der Woodsen," she said, introducing herself and holding out her hand.

Blair stared at her dazed. The name resonated with her, awakening something in her like a plant greeting the morning sun. She grasped the proffered hand with her fingertips. "Audrey Hawthorne."

"Let me buy you lunch?" Serena asked, needing time. She could tell she was affecting Blair by the stiffening of the brunettes shoulders and the fleeting look of uncertainty that crossed her face. "It is the least I can do after all your help. Without you I would be wandering around town with bad sunglasses and an exaggerated chin," she said, smiling merrily.

"It really isn't that noticeable," Blair conceded, considering the offer. She was torn. Part of her wanted nothing more than to continue her interlude with this stranger. The other part, the cautious part, warned her that she was playing with something dangerous. Ultimately, her desire for companionship and her fascination with the blonde Amazon easily beat out lunch with her fiancé.

"I guess I could cancel with Jack," she murmured, taking a risk. She knew Jack would disapprove. He had become even more protective and clingy since she had come to live in New York.

Excited, forgetting herself, Serena grabbed Blair and joyfully forced her into an impromptu hug. Serena sighed happily; Blair felt just the same as she remembered only painfully thinner.

Blair tightened in alarm, her breath hissing from her lips in surprise at how normal and fitting it felt to hug a complete stranger. Realizing her mistake Serena quickly dropped her arms, taking a step back. "Sorry, I'm just so excited to take you to lunch," she chuckled sheepishly.

Blair stared at her blankly, "You must not get out much."

"Not lately," Serena laughed, relieved she hadn't scared Blair off. "There is a great sushi place just down a few buildings down called Osaka. Would that be okay?" She hoped the choice of restaurant would further jog Blair's memory. Osaka had been their lunch place of choice after mornings spent browsing the shopping racks.

"Sure, sushi's perfect."

"Great, let me just pay for these shades."

"I'll be here. Let me just text my fiancé and let him know I won't be joining him for lunch."

"Great," Serena said happily, heading to the counter.

Blair quickly texted Jack, unsure of his reaction to her impromptu lunch, she carefully avoided the truth. Instead she wrote she was still in the middle of trying on clothes and would eat lunch later. She reassured herself that she could always tell him later when she got back to the hotel.

Within minutes, Serena had returned having rushed the purchase process. She was afraid that if given time to think Blair would change her mind. Her hand tightened around the ribbon handle of her shopping bag as she resisted the urge to crush her friend in another embrace.

Speaking of every inanity under the sun from the weather to the traffic to the garish new spring colors they made their way to Osaka. Serena was disappointed to note that while Blair hesitated before entering the restaurant, there was nothing in her expression to suggest that she had ever eaten there before. Serena was a familiar customer, well known for her generous tips, so they were quickly seated in a discrete corner far from the crowds. It wasn't until they had ordered that she took the first steps to untangle the knot, the enigma that was Audrey Hawthorne. Cunningly she put into practice the first lesson she had learned at the side of a queen; know your victim.

"Tell me about yourself, Audrey," she asked with great interest, a smile of spreading across her face. For once there was no need to fake the pleasantries usually reserved for new acquaintances.

"There isn't actually much to tell," Blair said evasively, looking down at her place setting.

Serena was not to be deterred. "Where do you live? Did you grow up here?"

"I'm from Conneticut originally, but I'm moving here permanently to be with my fiancé." Blair shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

"You'll love it here. I can't imagine living anywhere else, but the Upper East Side."

"That's where we're looking to purchase. Right now were living out of a hotel. It just isn't the same as a home."

"You're so right." Serena nodded sagely. "Setting down roots is very important. Have you looked at any places yet?"

"No," Blair sighed. "Jack, my fiancé, is so busy with work all the time that house hunting never quite seems to fit into his schedule. I really need to put my foot down. I just hate living at The Carlyle. I'm not quite sure why, but it feels so wrong.

"Have you thought about looking yourself? Most men couldn't care less about where they live."

"I've suggested it, but he's so over-protective. It took forever to convince him to let me go shopping today. This is the first time I've been anywhere without him since I got here. He's so worried I might get taken advantage of, but if I'm going to live in the Upper East Side I need to familiarize myself with the area. You can only learn so much from guidebooks and the Internet," Blair said wryly.

Now it was Serena's turn to fiddle with the table, straightening her silverware and placing it in perpendicular angles. "Jack doesn't…I mean things are okay with him? It sounds like he might be a little controlling."

Blair flushed, color blossoming against the pale ivory of her cheeks. "It isn't like that. Besides, even if it was it would be no business of yours," she said hotly.

"I'm so sorry…Audrey." Her tongue stumbled over the name. "I never meant to imply anything. It's just you're new in town and I was trying to be helpful. I know we've just met, but I wouldn't want to see you hurt." The words were said with such honest sincerity that even Blair couldn't hold them against her.

"Thank you for your concern, but even though it drives me crazy Jack has good reason to be overly invested," she said wistfully, her face haunted. She lived a lonely existence, not by choice, but rather by necessity. She wanted more than anything to unburden herself, to confide in one of the only people she had ever met who so easily put her at ease, made her feel at home.

Serena knew her friend well enough to guess the turmoil that lay hidden behind her perfect façade. "I know you don't know anyone here in New York, Audrey. Let me be your first friend," she said holding out her small hand. She felt not the slightest prick of guilt at her cunning move as the scales were tipped in her favor.

"You must be hard up for friends if you've resorted to trolling Bendels' for them" Her contemptuous tone belied the hope and relief shadowed in her eyes that only Serena, who knew Blair so well, could see. Blair exhaled slowly, bravely steadying herself. "I was in a car accident a few years ago and I hit my head. It caused some kind of brain injury and it affected my long-term memory. I sometimes have these weird flashbacks and delusions and Jack is the only one who knows how to help me work through them. I know this all sounds like something out of a trashy soap opera, but it is very real to me." She waited for the mocking, the pitying condescension she was sure would come. Instead, to her surprise and relief, she was blessed with kindness and honest sympathy.

"Oh Sweetie, I'm so sorry. That must be awful." It took all of Serena's willpower not to cry. She was sure she knew how Jack helped Blair with her so-called delusions. The evidence of his help, or rather his deliberate failure to help, was the insecure scared shell left of a girl she once knew almost as well as she knew herself. The man deserved to die and right now she was thinking a bullet to the brain was a much better answer than Chuck's plans of revenge. "Can you remember anything from before the accident?"

Blair shook her head. "No, it's all a blank. Don't worry about me not remembering you or this conversation. It doesn't

doesn't work like that. It isn't like that horrible movie 50 First Dates," she laughed shakily.

"That's good," Serena said encouragingly. "Are you okay, though? Will you ever get your memories back?"

"I don't know. Sometimes it's like they are on the tip of my tongue, like a person or a song that you know, but just can't place. They are so close I can almost taste them. Other times it feels like I'm another person and they aren't part of who I am anymore." Blair nervously smoothed her hair, patting nonexistent stray curls back in to place. "I can't believe I'm telling you this. I've never talked to anyone but Jack about this before. This urge to share with you is really rather annoying," she said rolling her eyes.

Serena laughed, "I'm so glad. Not about the accident and the whole memory loss thing, but that you feel like you can share with me."

Blair smiled, this time it reached all the way to her eyes.

"Tell me about Jack," Serena asked neutrally. "How did you two meet?"

"I can't really remember due to the memory problem, but he assures me it was quite romantic," Blair said jokingly. "I guess we met at a party, through friends, and he fell in love with me at first sight. Within weeks we were engaged and then there was the accident. I'm finally feeling well enough that we're going to get married next month. You should come," she offered.

"I'll be there." She promised. "What does Jack do that has you moving to New York?

"Well, he used to live in Australia, but since his brother died he's taken over the running of his company. He's the CEO of Bass Industries here in New York. Up until recently I was living in a private hospital, but now that I'm finally well enough I'm moving here," she hesitated. "I don't want you to think he neglected me by living here while I was in the hospital, because he didn't. He managed to come stay with me almost every weekend for the last few years while I was in recovery. "

"How thoughtful," Serena murmured.

"He is quite wonderful," Blair sighed. "He takes such good care of me. I'm certainly not the woman he got engaged to before the accident. Most guys would have left after that, but he has done nothing but try to help me get better."

"What a prince," Serena's internal bullshit filter, stretched to new levels of incredulity, didn't catch the sarcasm before it slipped from her lips. Thankfully, Blair didn't notice.

"He has been perfect. Just like a rescuing prince from a fairy-tale."

Serena couldn't take it any longer, quickly forcing another avenue of conversation. "This must be so hard on your friends and family. How are they handling this?"

"Actually, I don't have much of either. My parents died when I was in my teens so before I met Jack I lived alone and the few friends I had, understandably, stopped being my friends when I couldn't remember who they were."

"How awful! I would never stop being your friend even if you didn't remember me. We would just have to get to know each other all over again. So what do you say? Can we be friends? I should warn you ahead of time,though, I'm the kind of friend that you will never be able to get rid off. Not even memory loss will scare me away," she said half mockingly.

Blair looked at her in astonishment. "You do realize how creepy that sounds."

Serena nodded, laughing, "Kind of."

"After my experiences, the last few years, I suppose I'm not exactly the best judge of creepiness. I accept your weird and oddly sweet offer of friendship. God knows I need someone to shop with."

Serena looked at the waiter in irritation as their vows of friendship were interrupted by the arrival of their lunch. She couldn't help but notice the way Blair picked and played with her food. She allowed only the tiniest morsels of sushi to cross her lips. It looked like Audrey had some of the same issues with food that Blair used to have. Serena pretended not to notice as she rambled on about her life and shared stories of funny events and deeds, blatantly leaving out Blair's roles in them. She hoped that even if they didn't trigger something in her friend now, then maybe later they would gnaw away at her subconscious, becoming familiar and forcing the truth to the surface.

All to soon Blair was finished. She laid her chopsticks across her plate and carefully placed her folded napkin on the table. "If you will excuse me for a moment I need to fix my lipstick."

"Of course," Serena said politely even as her heart sank. She knew all of Blair's code words and signs and this one was the most familiar. Pain ripped away at her heart as she watched Blair make her way to the bathroom. While Blair would always have issues with food she had stopped purging soon after her and Chuck became a couple. While Serena frequently had issues with her stepbrother, she would always be grateful to him for making Blair feel beautiful enough that she could stop her cycle of abuse. It was no wonder Blair was back to old habits. As loving and protective as Jack supposedly was he had to be aware of her eating disorder. She couldn't believe he would deliberately ignore it allowing Blair to waste away, but then again the man was pure evil. It wasn't long before Blair returned, discretely eating a breath mint, her lips a fresh shade of crimson.

Even though Blair was a master when it came to deception, years of friendship gave Serena an advantage. Only she could see the shipwreck sunk underneath the calm, cold and still waters. She could offer no comfort knowing that if Blair knew she knew her secret, she would walk out on their budding friendship in an instant.

Serena searched for the ultimate weapon, the one that would counter, at least temporarily, the pain and guilt of Blair's latest purge. "Has anyone ever told you that you look like Audrey Hepburn?" She congratulated herself on her brilliance when she saw the look of awe and pleasure on Blair's face.

"Really? You think I look like Audrey?" Blair asked amazed, her eyes shining like stars. "I know I share her name, but she's also my idol. I have watched every one of her films hundreds of times."

"I adore her. I swear I have spent most my life watching her on the screen." Serena said laughing. She didn't even have to embellish the truth. As Blair's dearest friend they had watched Audrey's movies so many times she could quote entire scenes. "If I could find a real-life place-" Serena started quoting, grinning like a crazy woman.

"That would make me feel like Tiffany's, then - then I'd buy some furniture and give the cat a name!" Blair answered, smiling with delight. They were caught in a moment, the bonds of sisterhood re-forged once more. Their hearts recognized each other, and proved that years lost, or even permanent memory loss, couldn't destroy true friendship. Blair whipped out her phone adding Serena's name to her address book. "Give me your number," she demanded.

It happened so easily it seemed unreal to Serena. Numbers were exchanged and a day of shopping and lunch was arranged for the next day. Farewells given, Blair slung her purse over her shoulder, gaily waving behind her as she left the restaurant. Serena gathered her bag and purse, drawing all eyes to her, the waiters almost dropping their trays at the radiance of her smile. She glowed, her inner light dimmed since the news of Blair's death had burst into dancing flames. For the first time in years she experienced true happiness.

* * *

"I made a friend today," Blair said hesitantly, raising a glass of champagne to her lips.

Jack coughed, almost choking on his bite of steak tartar.

Glaring at him from over the white, starched linen-clothed dining table, Blair motioned for the servant to remove her dinner plate. "Don't act as if it's inconceivable for me to make friends. It's really quite insulting."

Taking a quick drink of scotch, Jack cleared his throat. "It's not that at all. I'm just surprised. You've only been in town for a few days and today is the first day you've ventured out without me. Did you meet someone here or while you were out shopping? You do realize you need to be careful? This city is filled with hanger-on's and shady types who prey on the rich."

"You make it sound like I'm practically provincial. I'm hardly the country mouse visiting the city for the first time," Blair sniffed, lifting her chin haughtily. "I can assure you that the person I met is quite up to our standards. Her appearance and her clothes, while sloppy and unkempt, are clearly of our class and she lives right here on the Upper East Side. We had such a good time we're meeting for lunch again tomorrow. " She clasped her hand to together in girlish glee before continuing, "The most important thing is she loves Audrey Hepburn and she can even quote her movies. "

"Well, if she is as big an Audreyphile as you, I have no grounds to object," Jack said sarcastically.

"You shouldn't mock. In a perfect world we would all be measured by our understanding and execution of the elegance and perfection that is Audrey," she replied half-jokingly.

"Does this perfect fantasy friend have a name?"

"Of course," she said. Sensing his anxiety she took her time, playfully drawing her answer out just long enough to take another drink. "Her name is Serena Van der Woodsen,"

Jack clutched his knife tightly, sawing aggressively into his meat. "What did you and this Serena person talk about? Did you tell her about your little disability?" He asked sharply.

Blair looked at him wide-eyed and hurt, her stomach leaping dangerously to her throat. The small amount of food she'd eaten tickled the back of her mouth. "No, of course not. We talked about nothing of consequence. We mostly just shopped and chatted about girl stuff," she lied. A warning tug of self-preservation nipped at the heels of her consciousness. He had given her strict orders to never share her memory loss and accident with anyone and she had done both with a stranger she had just met. There was something about Serena that made it hard to lie, something which compelled her to confide the deepest and darkest rumblings of her heart. She had never kept secrets from Jack before, she couldn't afford too. Instinctively, with wisdom she didn't know she had, she wisely kept silent.

"While I'm pleased to see you out and about making friends I think you need to re-evaluate whether this is something you're ready for. You're still recovering from a very serious brain injury. I'm not sure now is the time to be spreading your wings in the wilds of Upper East Side society. It hasn't been that long since your last little episode and we certainly don't want a repeat of that incident."

"I see," she said quietly, all traces of her earlier playful spark now ashes in the wind. Pushing her chair aside she rose, leaving Jack to finish his dinner alone.

"Audrey…Wait, I didn't mean it like that." With a crash he flung his silverware on the table.

"Then how did you mean it?" Bristling in anger laced with despair, she was a study in contrasts. "I've gotten so much better! It's been months since my last little slip-up. I promise you it won't happen again. I have my emotions so much more under control now," she pleaded, near tears.

A quick stride and he was reaching for her hand, raising it to his lips in apology. "I'm sorry. I just don't want to see you hurt. This is a big step and I guess I'm kind of like an old mother hen watching her little one take its first steps."

Her prickles and edges softened, his words calming her. She awkwardly stepped into his arms, and layed her head against his heart. He wasn't lying about his worry and anxiety; the frantic racing of his heart confirmed it.

"I'm used to having you all to myself. It's a bit daunting to realize that you need something outside of me," he said, placing a kiss atop her glossy curls.

"Jack," she sighed. "You know how I feel about you, but I need more. You're gone at work all day and I spend hours alone. In the hospital I dreamed of this, living here with you, and now I dream of a life outside the four walls of this hotel suite. While I love our discussions, fashion and the latest nail polish trends are hardly your forte. I want a state of normalcy in my life and my friendship with Serena can help with that. Look at it this way, she's a baby step in the right direction towards eventual social domination as wife of the CEO of one of New York's biggest firms," she teased, fluttering her lashes beseechingly.

"I guess I can't stand in your way when you so prettily put it that way." He tipped her chin up, his mouth meeting hers in a short simple kiss. "Cancel your luncheon date with her tomorrow."

"But I," she interrupted, indignantly

"Let me finish." He waited for her answering nod before continuing, "I'm going to look into Miss Van der Woodsen, make sure she's the right sort of person for you to be involved with. If everything looks good you can call her and re-schedule for another day. We don't want to hurt your chances of a smooth entry into society by investing in the wrong friendships. People here are especially cutthroat and I don't want you to destroy yourself socially by be being seen with the wrong types of people. I think it is best to wait until we have a bit more information before getting too involved with this woman. Don't see or talk to her until I can verify for sure who she is, what her background is." He stroked her velvet cheek, leaning in for a more intimate kiss, oblivious to the coldness seeping into her heart.

Never before had she questioned him, dutifully acceding to most of his wishes save one. This was one issue, however, she couldn't give in on. She couldn't risk the freedom, the treasured happiness that had come from just a few hours spent in the company of a female friend. She felt a stirring of something dark, something familiar as she committed herself to a second small sin of omission. She had no doubt that Jack would find nothing to prevent her friendship with Serena, so surely it wouldn't matter if she committed one more act of rebellion and saw Serena tomorrow as planned.

"Of course. If that's what you think is best, " she lied, smiling as sweetly as possibly. Her eyes looked passed his, focusing instead on the blank wall behind them. Pressed against the solid muscular wall of his body, she felt tiny and fragile, dwarfed by his power.

He pressed his mouth to hers, his lips hard and firm against her closed ones. His mouth greedily fused to hers, his large hands moving up and down the sharp bones and planes of her back. Blair shivered even as her body stayed rigid, wariness flaring in her eyes

She let him kiss her, finally giving in, lulling him into complacency with her response. It wasn't until his hands journeyed down her back to cup her bottom and his mouth slid to her neck that she pushed him away. "Jack," she said warningly.

He licked his lips, his eyes heavy lidded with lust and want. "Audrey, let me love you just this once," he begged. "I need to know you still love me."

"Of course, I do." She reached for him, her fingers trailing over his jaw. "I just want my first time to be perfect. A girl only loses her virginity once, and I want our first time to be something fantasies are made of and not just a romp on the dining room table in front of the staff."

"Give me a chance and I will prove to you just how magical I can make your first time." His lips nipped at her earlobe, returning to her neck. He smirked as she trembled under his attentions. He was, with every kiss, every longing caress, daily getting closer to breaking through her resistance. He had never wanted anyone as much or waited as long as he had, in order to sample the beauty that was Blair Waldorf. She drove him wild, everything about her made him weak in the knees. He understood his nephew's obsession, but unlike Chuck he didn't push away the things he truly wanted. He drained them until there was nothing left to hold his attention.

"You know I've been saving myself for our wedding night. I want it to be just like a fairy-tale." Face pink and her breath labored she shoved him away, retreating to the other side of the room.

Jack groaned, her effect on him obvious. "I don't suppose you would be willing to move the wedding up to tomorrow."

"Not a chance. All the preparations have already been made for next month. It will be worth the wait," she promised desperately.

Smoothing his tie, Jack focused on the current stock prices, the memo's he needed to send tomorrow, anything to keep his mind off the delights he had planned for the wedding night. After all, how often did one get to deflower a virgin who was no longer a virgin? They both would receive pleasure without any of the pain inherent in breaking a virgin in.

"Do you remember meeting my nephew Chuck the other night?" He asked, failing at his play of nonchalance as he fiddled with his necktie.

"Of course," she said coldly, calmly making sure she gave nothing away as her head spun, her heart thumping manically in her chest. She remembered, with complete clarity, the guilt-ridden dreams she'd had ever since meeting the younger Bass. She was plagued during the day with the wisps of remembrances that remained of the nightmares that shadowed her evening sleep. Night after night since their meeting she dreamed of him. The things he did to her, the things she begged him to do, tormented her not only at night but also in the quiet moments of the day.

"I need you to stay away from him. He hasn't been the same since my brother died. Always kind of a fuck-up, but he's grown bitter and paranoid from dipping a little too frequently into the bottle and Columbia's finest. Ever since I tried to get him into rehab he's made it his goal to destroy me, he thinks he's owed some kind of vengeance and I want to make sure he doesn't use you to collect. If he speaks to you, or even looks at you I want you to tell me. " His face was a mask of control..

Blair swallowed hard. "Of, course," she said. Her lips felt heavy, paralyzed.

His expression changed as his gaze searched hers, whatever he saw there satisfied him.

"Don't worry, Audrey. I will make sure he leaves you alone. " His hands climbed up her arms, gently squeezing her trembling shoulders before reaching up to cup her face. "I know I'm your fiancé, but I'm your friend as well. If there is ever anything you need to tell me, anything that troubles or scares you, I'm here for you. I will always be here for you." Blair shivered reflexively as he touched the bare skin along the column of her swan like neck, his fingers lazily tracing the thin blue veins.

"I know," she whispered, pulling away slowly as he released her from his embrace.

* * *

Thanks to my reviewers: puresimplicity-xo, 24hrscout, :D, yngrllrcstr, SilkenBone922, Syrianora, Lee Rion, blair chuck fan, mary1415, odyjha, Crystal, nostalgiakills, SnowedUnderNJ, KelaBelle and Melena Gold.

Special thanks to PrettyYellow for searching for it and norrish for reminding me people were still reading this.

Much love to Camilla for her awesome beta skills. Any mistakes are my own.

FYI I will be on hiatus for the next few weeks as I am having a tonsillectomy done. :( I will update as soon as I start feeling better.


	6. Chapter 6

Blair choked back the acid taste in her mouth as she rose from the side of the toilet. She hadn't meant to succumb to her dirty little secret, but the calling had been too strong. Grabbing one of the plush towels nearby she daintily wiped the corners of her mouth. Picking up her toothbrush, she brushed her teeth roughly, trying to erase the stain of shame from her mouth. Finished, she stared at her reflection in the mirror, hating what she saw. With trembling fingers she traced her perfectly arched eyebrows, her sharp cheekbones and the round bow of her mouth.

"Audrey, your name is Audrey," she whispered, even as it felt wrong. She felt wrong.

Even the dreams that tormented her were wrong. He was wrong. Color slowly stained her cheeks as she remembered the way he had kissed her. The way his hands had worshipped her body. The way he had made her feel like she was the most precious thing in his life. Guilt flooded her that instead of dreaming about her fiancé she was dreaming of a complete stranger, Jack's nephew. Shaking her head she attempted to erase him from her thoughts, wash him out of her brain.

"You are in love with Jack Bass and are marrying him next month," she said forcefully to the girl in the mirror. "These dreams are nothing more than the after effects of your brain injury."

Flashes of light pricked at her eyes as a vision blasted through her brain.

"_Tell me you love me," he demanded__,__ his lips hovering over her ear as he moved deep within her._

_She teased him, deliberately remaining silent. Thrusting her hips against his, she chuckled __as he bit back a moan. Tilting her head, her lips caught his in a passionate kiss._

"_Say __it__, Blair," he growled, as he pulled his mouth free from hers. Reaching between their bodies he found that tender ridge of flesh that ached for his touch. His sensual fingers slowly circled her bud until she was shaking, begging for release. _

_Her body, taunt with tension, could take no more. Hooking her legs tighter around him, her nails digging into his back, she finally gave in. "I love you, Chuck Bass," she cried, as overwhelming pleasure burst through her.  
_

Blair rubbed violently at her temples, as the vision faded, replaced once more by her image in the mirror. Staring at herself in horror she turned away, rushing out of the bathroom as her stomach once more started to churn.

Getting dressed she tried not to dwell on this disturbing development. Not only had she had a waking dream, but for the first time she had put a name to the face that haunted her. The thought occurred to her that perhaps she should call her doctor, but she quickly dismissed this idea. There was no way she was going back to the hospital. She had worked too hard to be free. She would deal with this herself. There would be no more dreams, no more visions; she would control this even if it killed her.

Blair waited impatiently outside, several blocks from her hotel, her arms wrapped around her chest tightly. Nervous, she kept looking over her shoulder for any sign of Jack. While consciously she knew he was at work, subconsciously she was afraid he would show up and catch her. Once or twice she almost gave in and returned to the hotel, but each time the remembrance of the blue-eye blonde and the feeling of safety and completeness that Serena aroused in her kept her feet planted firmly on the ground. Standing on the corner Blair searched every cab that went by in search of her new friend. Just as she was about to give up a big black limousine purred it's way up next to her. Unexplained, heat rose to her cheeks, her breath hitching in her throat in anticipation of the door opening. For just a moment a precious memory floated by, before vanishing once more into the messy subconscious of her brain.

"Audrey," Serena called out, climbing out of the limousine and all but flinging herself in Blair's arms.

Unused to being greeted with such friendliness, Blair stiffened at first, but as Serena continued to hug her - holding her tight – Blair found herself melting in her embrace. This simple human contact seemed for a minute to right her world, erasing the trauma of her morning declaration of love to the wrong Bass.

"So what is on the agenda today? Gucci? Prada? Armani?" Serena asked, as Blair pulled away from her embrace.

"If you don't mind I was wondering if you would like to like to look at houses with me today? I have got to move out of the hotel," Blair said shuddering. "There is just something so Euro trash about hotel living."

"Ah…sure," Serena said hesitantly, glancing out the corner of her eye at the man that waited in the shadows. "Would it be okay if we stopped at Gucci first? There is a dress I need to pick up."

"I suppose so," Blair replied, frowning. "Let me just text my real estate agent that we will be meeting her later. "

Blair whipped out her phone, texting a new agenda to her agent while Serena pulled out her own phone to send new directions to her co-conspirator.

"So…tell me how you have been?" Serena asked cheerily over her shoulder as she climbed into the limousine.

Blair hesitated for a moment, standing still as she felt a pull deep in her belly as she stared into the dark interior of the limousine. Catching sight of the empty seat next to Serena she almost felt as if something was wrong, like there was a puzzle piece missing from the picture. Dismissing her thoughts she smiled brightly, seating herself next to her new friend on the soft leather seats.

"I've been good," she lied through her teeth.

Serena caught the odd tone in Blair's voice and tilted her head, regarding her friend closer. Blair didn't look good. Her face was pale, her eyes glittering in a way that told Serena that Blair's world was a mess right now. She wanted to pry, to gather her friend into her arms until she was forced to tell what was in her heart. Instead she only smiled, afraid of jeopardizing the small seed of friendship that had been planted.

"I can't tell you how glad I am you decided to come out with me today," Serena said with a sunny smile. "I was afraid up until moments ago that you would cancel. I thought your fiancé might be worried about you hanging out with someone you had just met," she probed gently. Serena didn't tell her how she had waited breathlessly by her phone ever since they had last said goodbye. She had been so sure that Jack wouldn't let Blair spend time with her, no matter how clear she had made it yesterday that she had accepted Blair's new identity.

A shadow crossed Blair's face, her eyes darkening. "Of course, he's fine with it. He trusts my judgment," she said coldly, fidgeting with the straps of her Birkin bag.

"Of course he does," Serena said soothingly, her eyes clouding over at Blair's obvious lie.

Looking into Serena's earnest face, Blair felt guilt rise up in her. It almost hurt to lie to this girl that had so easily befriended her.

"Tell me about your dress," Blair demanded, anxious to change the subject.

Serena laughed, this was the Blair she remembered. "It's just a little black, slinky number. Something to wear for an evening out with the right guy."

"That sounds lovely," Blair said wistfully.

"You should get a new dress and have your fiancé take you out for a night on the town. New York has so many lovely and romantic spots for couples."

"I don't know… I'd like to, but Jack is so busy all the time," Blair replied so sadly that Serena's heart ached for her.

"Well, good thing that you met me. I know this city like the back of my hand. I can show you the UES like no other and I just know you will love it as much as I do," Serena said resolutely.

Blair's face lit up like a Christmas tree. "I would like that. I do hate to bother Jack," she said hesitatingly.

Serena nodded sadly. She could only imagine how Jack would react to being disturbed and the thought scared her.

"Does Jack work a lot?"

"All the time," Blair sighed. "Sometimes I almost feel like he is already married, only to the job. I guess Bass Industries was kind of a mess when he took over so he has had to spend a lot of time straightening things out."

Serena couldn't help being grateful for small mercies. If Jack was so busy at Bass Industries that left him little time to manipulate and damage Blair. At least no more then he had already done so.

Like a bolt of lightening Blair was hit with another memory. Crying out she held her head as images flashed through her head like film winding through a camera.

_Dressed only in a filmy slip, pearls around her throat she sat mesmerized by the man sitting next to her. They stared into each others eyes until the world seemed to fall away and only they existed. Leaning into each other, he murmured words of permission. Words she never thought she would hear coming from him._

"_You sure?"_

_And she was. Their lips met in a kiss so magical, so intoxicating, they were rendered breathless by its glory._

"Audrey…Audrey, honey. Are you okay?" Serena asked frantically, reaching out to grasp her hand.

Blair squeezed her hand tightly, her nails digging into Serena's palm as the haze of the vision began to clear from her eyes. Blinking her eyes rapidly, she was brought abruptly back to the present.

"Don't tell Jack," Blair whispered, her eyes wide with panic.

"Don't tell him what?" Serena asked with a calm she did not feel.

"About what just happened," she replied, refusing to look Serena in the eyes.

"What did just happen?"

"I'm not sure," Blair answered releasing Serena's hand. "It felt like a memory, but it couldn't be. It's just not possible…It was with the wrong man," she said, her tone slowly creeping into hysteria. "I think I'm going crazy."

Serena schooled her face to express no emotion even though her heart was breaking. While she wanted nothing more than for Blair to remember, she didn't want it to happen like this, not with pain and panic. Reaching out to grasp her shoulders, blue eyes locked on brown ones. "Audrey, you are not going crazy. I promise you."

"It is getting worse. In the beginning, after my accident this happened all the time, but the last year I had been getting so much better. Now, since I've gotten here it is all falling apart," Blair cried brokenly as tears filled her eyes.

Serena put her arms around Blair, hugging her tightly. "Shhh…"she murmured softly, comforting her friend.

"I don't want to go back to the doctor's. They just make it worse with all their pills and therapy," Blair said frantically.

"No, no doctors," Serena replied hastily. The last thing she wanted was for Blair to go back and see the psychopath who had done this. Whatever was happening to her needed to be kept a secret. If Jack found out there was no telling what lengths he would pursue to keep Blair in a stupor.

Sniffling, Blair pulled away from Serena, reaching into her bag for a handkerchief to wipe her tears away. "I won't go back to the hospital. No matter what," she vowed, her eyes hardening.

"No," Serena said, hot tears pricking her own eyes. She would give her life to ensure that Blair never went back to that hospital. "We will figure this out together. Whatever you remember - whatever is happening to you - there is a reason for it. We just need to find out why."

"Thank you, Serena." Blair replied, her tone filled with gratitude. "But I don't understand why you would do that? Why put so much effort in helping a complete stranger?"

"Let's just say you remind me of a close friend," Serena said tenderly, tucking a stray strand of dark brown hair behind Blair's ear. "Someone I miss dearly."

"She is very lucky to have you as a friend," she replied with a haunting smile.

"No, I am the lucky one. Tell me about these flashbacks you are having?" Serena asked cautiously, almost afraid of what she might hear.

"It is so embarrassing," Blair said, blushing.

"There is nothing you could tell met that would embarrass me. Just look up Serena van der Woodsen in the tabloids," Serena laughed. "There is nothing I haven't been caught doing."

Their conversation was temporarily brought to a halt as the door of the limo swung open at the private entrance to Gucci's downtown store.

"I keep dreaming of another life, one that doesn't exist—," Blair paused briefly as she stepped gracefully out of the limousine.

"How do you know it doesn't exist?" Serena asked, as she followed Blair into the store.

"Because there is a man in it, who shouldn't be there. Someone I don't know and yet I do," Blair tried to explain, knowing that she wasn't making much sense. "He haunts me when I sleep and now even when I am awake."

Serena tried not to squeal with delight. There was only one man that would haunt Blair's dreams no matter where she was or whom she was, and that was Chuck Bass. There was nobody else it could be. The connection between Chuck and Blair was something practically epic, almost like it was written in the stars.

"Do you know this man? Have you met him before?" Serena asked eagerly, her heart practically thumping out of her chest.

"Yes, I…" Blair stopped in her tracks, all color draining from her face at the sight before her.

Leaning lazily against the marble desk in the show rooms of Gucci was Chuck Bass.

"Audrey," Chuck drawled.

Blair shivered as he said her name, her blood flashing hot then cold as he stared at her with knowing eyes.

"Chuck…," Serena said warningly, shaking her head and motioning for him to leave. This wasn't part of the plan. He was supposed to wait until _after_ lunch before accidentally bumping into them, not ambush them in the middle of Gucci's show rooms. What perfectly awful timing, especially when Blair was just about to open up to her. She was so angry she could have kicked Chuck. "Audrey, I would like you to meet my step brother—"

"Chuck Bass," Chuck finished, giving his trademark smirk.

"We've already met," Blair said haughtily, giving him such her coldest stare.

"Oh," Serena said pretending confusion. "I didn't realize."

Blair turned her gaze to Serena. "How could you not mention the fact that your step-brother is Chuck Bass?" She asked through gritted teeth.

"I generally try to forget," Serena said with exasperation. "No offense, Chuck."

"None taken," Chuck replied genially, never taking his eyes off of Blair.

"Serena, how dare you? I share my life with you and not once did you mention that you knew my fiancé or that you were related," Blair said icily.

"I didn't mean to hide it from you," Serena said pleadingly. "I just didn't want to mention it because I was afraid that if you knew it would jeopardize our friendship. There is a little bit of bad blood between the van der Woodsen's and the Basses, Chuck excluded…well, mostly," Serena joked lamely, shooting her step-brother a wordless appeal.

"Did my Uncle Jack not mention his van der Woodsen connections?" Chuck asked innocently, his tone at odds with the smirk he wore.

"Of course he did," Blair replied shortly, burying her confusion and hurt in anger.

"Then I am truly shocked he agreed to this little outing today."

"Well, he did," Blair said as her eyes narrowed dangerously.

Nonchalantly Chuck pulled out his phone. "Then he won't mind us calling to check in will he?"

Blair tapped her foot impatiently, a small puff of exasperated air leaving her lips. "Go right ahead."

Chuck kept his eyes on Blair as he dialed the number, the air between them growing thick with tension as neither one backed down.

"Chuck," Serena called out warningly, flashing him a panicked look.

Finger poised just above the send button, Chuck waited a fraction of a moment. In that split second, Blair reacted. Grabbing the phone out of his hand she looked at it just long enough to register the number before handing it back to him.

"That is not Jack's number," she said breathlessly, weak with relief.

"I know," Chuck smirked.

Before Blair could stop herself, the narrow toe of her Mahnolo shoe made sharp contact with his shin. "You're heinous," she hissed.

Eyes sparkling with pleasure, Chuck didn't even flinch.

"Audrey, Chuck enough," Serena said, trying to hide the laughter in her voice. Happiness flooded her she glanced between the two of them. The very air seemed to spark with their chemistry, reminding her of so many times past. "You two stay here and behave," she admonished, walking away. "I am going to go grab my dress. "

"Serena…Don't—" Blair called out as Serena disappeared around the corner.

"Afraid to be left alone with me?" Chuck asked with a devilish smile.

Blair raised her chin defiantly, looking him straight in the eye. "Absolutely not."

"Really…" Chuck drawled, taking first one step and then another closer to Blair. "Then why do I make you so nervous?"

Blair retreated backwards until her back hit the wall. "You don't," she swallowed nervously, looking at him with big, dark eyes. "It is just that Jack warned me against you. He said you were dangerous."

Chuck leaned into the wall next to her, so close his lips hovered over the tip of her ear. "Do _you_ think I am dangerous?"

Blair inhaled sharply, her eyelids shuddering closed as his breath feathered over her sensitive skin. She felt feverish, the blood in her veins set afire by his nearness. Her hands clenched the straps of her bag tightly, as the dreams and flashbacks of the last few days exploded in her head. It took all of her control not to lean in, cup his face with her hands and kiss him uncontrollably. Shaking her head violently she pulled herself out of her haze.

"No, not dangerous. Merely annoying," Blair replied dismissively.

"Prove it," he said from deep in his chest, his voice as thick as fog. "Have lunch with me?"

"I can't. Jack would—."

"Jack would what?" Chuck interrupted with a bored tone even as his face betrayed him, the planes and angles tightening into a stone mask.

"Nothing," Blair said shakily. She was torn between duty and desire. She owed Jack her allegiance. He was all she had. Yet at the same time she couldn't deny that strange longing in her heart to explore the source of her dreams and visions. Perhaps spending time with Chuck would allow her subconscious to recognize that the dreams she was having involved the wrong man. If that was the case then she owed it to herself and Jack to have lunch with Chuck so she could get him out of her head once and for all.

"Have lunch with me, Audrey?" Chuck asked once more, holding his heart in his hands.

Blair stared up at him, his eyes locking on hers until she couldn't look away. Oblivious to everything else she held her breath, her heart turning over in her chest, as she sank into the murky depths of his eyes. Time stretched out, extending the moment until it was as fine as spun glass and as fragile as crystal. And still Chuck waited.

"Yes," she finally whispered.

"Tomorrow," Chuck murmured. "I will send a car." Catching her hand he brought it gently to his mouth with barely reined in hunger. He kissed her hand slowly, with unhurried ease; savoring the taste, the smell, and the feel of Blair on his lips

Blair caught her breath, riveted to the spot she let him kiss her hand. Electrical impulses like a current flowed from his lips, leaving her tingling from head to toe. "No, not to the hotel," she murmured as if in a dream.

"Here. I will have the car meet you here," Chuck said, reluctantly releasing her hand and slowly stepping away as Serena came into view.

Serena hid a secret smile as she stepped into the room, happy at the scene she had just interrupted. It took all of her control not to squeal with delight. It would only be a matter of time now. She was positive that every minute Blair spent in Chuck's company would bring her closer to regaining her past and realizing the dreams she thought of as false memories were in fact the truth. All that remained was to keep Jack ignorant of Audrey's activities as long as possible, before he had a chance to do more damage. If he had any idea of their plan or Audrey's meetings with them, Serena had no doubt he would ship Blair back to the hospital and their cause would be lost.

Pleased she grabbed Blair's arm and pulled her towards the door.

"Bye, Chuck," Serena called out gaily. "We have house hunting plans."

Blair spared one last searching look at Chuck before being hustled out the door by her friend.

Chuck didn't bother to hide his triumphant smirk as they left. He could already see the effect he had on Blair. Like a moth to a flame she was just as drawn to him as he was to her. Already she was starting to see there was no denying what lay between them. Once again, he thanked his private investigator for having the foresight to bug his limousine. Now that he knew she was having flashbacks it made it that much easier to woo her, seduce her and trap her into admitting what lay between them. And if all else failed he would whisk her away, lavish her with attention until she fell in love with him all over again. Either way he would win, because Blair would be where she belonged, with him.

* * *

This is dedicated to my still faithful readers: Sara, READER120, nicodemusfleur, elodie6391, elodie6391, KATE2008, momentofbored, Ruby_Queen, Madeleinex, Krazy4Spike, JYLlian, Jennaxox, PrettyYellow, GossipGirlFanForever, odyjha, Syrianora, CanYouSayItTwice, :D, Nakii-Ilylac, xoxoTwilight269, xoxo - Amber, ggloverxx19, Antigone, abelard, Lee Rion, and SilkenBone922.

Without you there would be no update.

Much love to Camilla for the beta.


	7. Chapter 7

Serena and Blair spent the day visiting house after house, Blair becoming more and more dissatisfied with what she was seeing. As beautiful and elegant as they were none of the properties called to her. Something seemed off, missing. Just as her agent was about to give up, Serena suggested they try one last place, a private listing that had not yet been put on the market.

Pulling up in front of the wrought iron gated doorway, Blair felt an odd sense of déjà vu deep in her gut. Staring at the imposing edifice she knew she had been here before. In fact she would swear it.

"Serena, how long has this place been available?" Blair asked with an odd tone in her voice.

"Ever since the previous owner's fiancé died, so almost three years ago," Serena said quietly - almost reverently - as if she was speaking in a church.

"What happened?" Blair was suddenly afraid, yet she needed to know the answer.

"They were supposed to move in together, but the shortly before the move, she died in an airplane crash," Serena said, closely watching Blair for any reaction.

"How terribly sad," she said faintly, blinking as she felt a slight buzzing in her head.

"I didn't even know this place was on the market," the agent, a painfully thin British female, said. Dressed in a red tailored suit and her trademark pearls she looked up at the house in awe. "Are you sure the owner is interested in selling?"

"To the right person, yes," Serena said, drawing closer to Blair in case the brunette needed her.

"Do you have a key?" the agent asked, excited to see the inside. Taking a look at her client she was happy to see the first stirrings of interest. She had all but despaired in ever finding anything Miss Hawthorne would be happy with.

"No, but I do have the security code, " Serena said slyly.

"Well, shall we then, Miss Hawthorne?"

Blair moved as if in a trance. She knew this place, had seen it before. Maybe her and Jack had looked at it before the accident? If so, he had never mentioned they had been house hunting.

Pulling on her arm, Serena walked Blair to the door. Opening her purse she pulled out her phone and located the text with the security code. Punching in the numbers she held her breath as the door unlocked and swung open.

Walking carefully as if the floor was covered with shards of glass, Blair entered the main entryway. Pausing, she stared in wonder at the marble walls, the exquisitely painted ceiling, the delicate Swarovski crystal chandelier and magnificent winding mahogany staircase. She did know this place. She had dreamed of it.

Serena grasped her friend's hand tightly as they made their way up the arched staircase. Blair held her breath as she peeked in each one of the bedrooms, they all looked so familiar. That one was the guest bedroom, and that one, heart aching, she knew was supposed to be the nursery. How she knew this she was afraid to delve into. It was terrifying enough that she knew.

When at last they entered the Master Bedroom, Blair's breathing all but stopped. There in the center of the room was the very bed she had seen this morning in her flashback. The dark cherry four-poster bed draped in silk was the very same one that she had declared her love to Chuck Bass in. The same one in which he had brought her to dizzying heights of ecstasy, pleasing her in a way she hadn't known was possible.

Sinking to the rich wood floors, Blair covered her hands with her eyes as tears coursed down her cheeks and her face flushed hot with embarrassment.

"Audrey, honey? What's wrong?" Serena asked, scooping Blair into her arms.

Rubbing her back Serena let Blair cry until there were no more tears, and yet still she held her.

"I have dreamed of this bed, this place….I was here," Blair said, neglecting to tell Serena exactly who she had been with and what they were doing.

"It's okay, maybe you have been here before. You had a whole life before the accident you can't remember," Serena said, patting her compassionately on the back.

"No," Blair said firmly, "It isn't possible."

"You don't know that. Maybe this is your first real memory from before the accident? You should embrace it not run from it."

"No you don't understand! He is in it and it's supposed to be Jack!" Blair said, her eyes wild.

Serena finally understood. Blushing she realized exactly what kind of dreams Blair had been having and they weren't about Jack. In that instant she debated about whether to tell the truth, to be done with this "take it slow and see" plan that Chuck had insisted on. She _wanted_ to tell the truth, force Audrey to accept that she was Blair, but looking at her forlorn face and broken eyes Serena found that she couldn't. With Blair's psyche and fragile mental state she was afraid that if she pushed she would break her and lose Blair forever.

"Sometimes the brain does funny things. Your body is trying to tell you something. You just need to relax and listen and I swear like puzzle pieces it will all come together into a beautiful picture eventually, " Serena said soothingly.

"Let's say I was here with Jack before the accident, why would I replace him with another man in my dream?" Blair cried, her voice filled with anguish.

"I don't know, but I promise you we will figure this out. From now on you need to write down every detail of your visions and dreams. That is the only way we will be able to get the full picture, connect the dots. There is so much you don't remember from before the accident, perhaps you are mixing past memories with people and places? Tell me what you have dreamed so far, maybe I can help you make sense of it." Serena said earnestly.

"I dreamed of…", Blair blushed bright red as she hesitated to say the name that haunted her soul. "Chuck Bass." With a groan Blair covered her eyes with her fists, pushing painfully at her eyes, almost in hopes that she could squeeze him out of her brain.

Serena gasped. This was the confirmation she had been looking for, but she had expected baby steps and had never dreamed Blair would have hit the Holy Grail this early with her recalled memories. If Blair was dreaming of Chuck and this bed Serena was positive that was a true memory of her past. Something that was coming to the surface regardless of whatever therapy and or pills Jack had pumped into her system. They just had to wait patiently for the rest to return one by one until Blair appeared from Audrey like a butterfly bursting out of a cocoon.

"Is it possible you met Chuck before? You might have met him when you and Jack were first engaged. Perhaps that's where these memories are coming from?" Serena asked gently.

"I don't know," Blair said despondently. "It's possible. It's just, Jack never mentioned it and when I met Chuck for the first time he didn't know who I was."

"Maybe Jack showed you pictures of him and talked about him before the accident and now since seeing him he is stuck in your head?"

Blair blinked at Serena slowly, considering the matter. "That could be…Maybe my mind is playing tricks on me by replacing my memories of Jack with Chuck."

Serena nodded sagely. "Maybe if you spend some time with Chuck your memories will correct themselves once your brain realizes it is the wrong person," Serena said, hoping to reinforce Blair's decision to have lunch with Chuck.

"That is exactly what I am going to do," Blair said resolutely. The more she thought about it the more it made sense. The memory of the house and the limo had to be true flashbacks of places her and Jack had been. As for the sex and Chuck - that was just her brain injury playing tricks on her. That had to be the answer. Right?

Rising from the floor, Blair dusted minute specs of dust from her outfit. No more would she run from her visions, she would accept them, replacing Chuck with Jack until she only dreamed only of Jack. And she knew just how to do it. The more time she spent with Chuck the more her psyche would recognize that it had the wrong man.

Striding in on her impossibly high heels, the agent entered the room, clearing her throat nervously. "So what do you think of the house?"

"It has…" Blair hesitated, "possibilities."

"Can you arrange a meeting with the owner?" the agent asked Serena, practically drooling as she attempted to calculate the number of zeros on her commission check if she landed this deal.

"I am sure something can be set-up," Serena replied awkwardly, very much aware of the fact that the house was not available and never would be now that Blair was back in Chuck's life.

A buzzing sound vibrated deep from within Blair's purse. Pulling her phone out she glanced at the text, a slight frown marring her brow. "It's Jack. He is leaving work early and he wants to take me out for dinner. " For some reason Blair didn't feel the rush of exhilaration she normally would have expected from such an announcement.

"That sounds like fun," Serena said brightly, trying not to cringe.

"Yes," Blair murmured, her eyes shadowed.

"Shall I arrange another showing for you and Mr. Bass?" The agent asked, her heels clicking on the wooden floor as she followed behind the girls.

"Please," Blair said faintly, glancing over her shoulder one last time at the bed as she headed out of the room.

"We will figure this out, Audrey." Serena said, grasping Blair's hand in hers as they made their way down the staircase to the foyer.

Blair nodded, gripping Serena's hand tightly as the agent continued to natter on in the background about the house's attributes and features.

With her head pounding and nerves clawing at her stomach Blair watched silently through the darkened windows of the limousine as they drove further and further away from the house of her dreams. She would be back she vowed, and when she came again the memories would be gone.

* * *

Blair sat primly, smoothing the wrinkles from her green Valentino dress. She had dressed carefully for this evening with Jack, choosing just the right dress to set of her coloring spectacularly. She was instantly rewarded when Jack's eyes lit up as they met at the restaurant, and he couldn't help leaning in for a kiss.

"Audrey," Jack murmured gently, pressing his lips to hers briefly before seating himself at the table.

Jack cupped her hand in his from across the table, his fingers imprisoning hers in their grasp. Blair tried to relax, but her body refused to cooperate. Her fingers twined stiffly with his as he raised her hand to his lips for an intimate kiss. Her eyelids fluttered slowly closed as she was reminded of another kiss from earlier that day, one from an entirely different Bass, which had set her heart afire and made her weak in the knees.

"What did you do today?" Jack asked, his lips lingering over her hand.

"I went house hunting," Blair said, pulling uncomfortably away from him.

"I see," Jack said with a bland tone. "Tell me did your new friend, Serena, offer any help?"

Blair nervously avoided looking him in the eye. "Serena? I am not sure I know what you mean."

"Don't play me, Audrey. You think I don't know every little thing you do?" Jack said, his eyes glittering. "I've had you followed ever since you arrived in town. There is no place you could go and nothing you could do that I wouldn't be informed off."

Blair face flushed hotly and then turned white with anger. "How dare you?"

"I dare anything when it comes to the health and well being of my fiancé. Don't you understand that I love you and want what is best for you?" Jack said earnestly. "I am only trying to protect you."

"Protect me by spying on me," Blair said bitterly.

"Only because I love you," Jack explained patiently, his hand reaching out to touch hers.

She slapped it away angrily. "If you loved me you would let me go free. Have the kind of life, the kinds of friends, I want. "

"Is Serena van der Woodsen really the type of friend you want?" Jack asked lightly, not in the least bothered by her outburst.

"She is exactly the type of friend I want," Blair said defiantly, even as she felt sick to her stomach. Arguing with Jack was something she had never done before. Something she had never dreamed was possible, but she knew in her heart that her friendship with Serena was worth it even if it meant alienating Jack.

"Did you ever stop to think about her ulterior motives? Why she so desperately wants to befriend you?" Jack asked casually, taking a sip of his scotch.

"No, but I have wondered why you never bothered to mention that you knew her," Blair said, smiling at him thinly. "Could it be that perhaps she knows something you don't want me to know?"

Jack slammed his glass of scotch down on the table. Blair watched with barely veiled fear as the contents sloshed over the rim of the glass, staining the pristine white linen tablecloth beneath.

"Can you not accept that I know what is best for you?" Jack asked, anger lightly coloring his voice.

"No, I can't," Blair said as her stomach pitched and rolled like a ship in a storm. She was going to be sick, but she couldn't stop. Something inside of her was breaking free; something she hadn't known existed until now. "Ever since the accident you have decided everything, _been_ everything, but I need something more. While I appreciate everything you have done for me, I need to live my own life. Have something outside of you."

"You don't need anything outside of me, Audrey," Jack said, his voice becoming almost sinister.

"I do, Jack," Blair cried, her eyes locking on his pleadingly. "Please try to understand. As much as I love you, I need something more. I need Serena, she makes me happy." She tentatively reached out to curl her fingers around his hand in appeal. "Let me have this, please?"

Jack regarded her silently, his eyes searching hers, afraid of what he might find hidden in their dark depths. He didn't want to give in, but he knew if he didn't he would be sowing the seeds for rebellion. Something he needed to avoid at all costs if he was to keep Blair under his control. For the first time he was afraid of what he might lose, his plan of revenge almost tasting like ashes in his mouth. He never expected to feel this way, to have so exposed his heart to such an extent that the mere thought of losing Blair caused him pain. His heart always so cold and hidden in the icy depths of his almost non-existent soul felt as if it had been sliced open.

Jack sighed heavily, "If it means that much to you, how can I say no?"

Blair's eyes sparkled like the lights on a Christmas tree. "Thank you, Jack," she breathed, excited she no longer needed to keep her friendship with Serena hidden

"Just promise me you will be careful and you will come to me first if she ever tells you anything that makes you question our relationship."

"I promise," Blair said, looking at him oddly. It took all of her willpower not to question him further, but having gotten what she wanted she was willing to let things stand as they were. "I found a house today."

Jack took a steadying drink of scotch. Ever since he had found she had been to _that _house he had been expecting this conversation. While he had never told the agent to avoid the house, he had never expected Blair to see it since Chuck had never put it on the market. For that he blamed Serena. She was meddling where she shouldn't and perhaps a chat with her was in order.

"Did we ever look at houses here before my accident? " Blair asked hesitantly, peeking at up at him tentatively through her eyelashes. "There was one in particular that seemed familiar."

Jack's heart froze for a moment, his lungs constricting painfully. "Yes, there were a few we visited when I was first contemplating moving here," he lied, looking her straight in the eye.

Blair exhaled slowly, relief washing over her in waves. "That it explains it then."

"Explains what, Audrey?" he drawled as casually as possible.

"I thought I remembered something," Blair said softly, as color slowly stained her cheeks.

Jack watched her intently, his eyes cold and assessing. "It's possible," he said dismissively. "I wouldn't put much stock in it though, your mind is so fragile that it is possible that you imagined it."

Blair instantly deflated, her eyes sad and broken once more. "I suppose you are right." Looking away from Jack she focused on watching a portly, balding waiter weave his way though the room. Holding aloft a bottle of wine as if it was precious treasure he made his way to their table.

"Excuse me, Sir," the waiter interrupted politely. "Chateau Mouton-Rothschild 1990 for you."

"A very excellent year, but I am quite sure I didn't order any wine," Jack said smoothly, arching his brow in the direction of the errant waiter.

"The year I was born…" Blair murmured, lifting her eyes to the bottle, her gaze lingering over the familiar lettering in gold leaf surrounding the hand painted grapes. She had seen this bottle before. Closing her eyes for only a moment, a memory flickered like an old fashioned moving picture behind her lids.

_She lay across a four poster draped bed, clad in an icy blue silk negligee, a feast spread before her on the side table. He was there__,__ standing over her with a devilish smirk, wine bottle in one hand, crystal glass in the other. _

"_The perfect wine for the perfect birthday girl," Chuck said huskily, his eyes lingering with scorching intensity over the curves hinted at through the gossamer of her gown. "I bought this specially for you at Christies, a case of Chateau Mouton-Rothschild __1990__. I have been told the grapes harvested during that year were particularly fine and like you they have an exquisite taste."_

_Catching her eye, he slowly poured the wine out into a single glass as if it was an erotic act. Blair licked her lips, the tip of her tongue lingering over her plump bottom lip as she suddenly was overcome with thirst. Taking a long sip of the wine, Chuck leaned in so close she could smell the slightly tart scent of wine on his breath as his lips hovered hungrily over hers. It was she who made the first move, catching his mouth with hers she surrendered to the searing heat of his kiss. The taste of him— need, desire and want — combined with the heady taste of the wine was more potent than any alcohol she had ever consumed. _

"It is from the gentleman in the corner, for the young lady, with his regards," the waiter said proudly, pleased to have been chosen to deliver such an expensive gift.

Blair looked to the corner of the restaurant, her heart beating erratically. Like a flash of fire she saw him instantly, her eyes drawn to his dark piercing ones. Seated casually in a leather corner booth - almost hidden in the darkness - was Chuck Bass. As he lifted his glass in a toast to her, a secret smile twisting his lips, she felt her heart leap into her throat.

"Send it back," Jack said sharply, waving the bottle away with his hand.

"But Sir, it is a Chateau—"

"I know what it is," Jack interrupted, raising his voice. "Tell the gentleman his gifts are unwelcome."

"Of course, Sir," the waiter said with a slight bow, his eyes widening in surprise. Never before had he had a customer refuse free alcohol.

"Wait," Blair called out, turning her eyes to Jack. "It would be rude not to accept such a costly gift. Besides, think of what people will say? It can't be good for Bass Industries to have the two main shareholders fighting."

Jack nodded stiffly. "Please thank my nephew for his gracious gesture."

Blair watched in silence as the bottle was uncorked, ever aware of the two sets of eyes that watched her. Shifting in her seat uncomfortably she accepted the glass of wine, shuddering as the tangy taste drifted over her tongue pleasurably. The wine tasted just like she remembered and the thought made ice run through her veins. Nodding and smiling at all the right places in the conversation, Blair made it through dinner with Jack. Just once did she let her gaze falter from Jack only to find it caught instantly by Chuck's dark eyes piercing through her like a pin through the head of a butterfly. Holding his gaze she shook her head at him warningly only to receive a smirk for her trouble. It was with a great sense of relief that when dinner was finished he had seemingly vanished.

Back at their hotel suite, Jack's lips clung to hers as they stood outside the entrance to her bedroom. Blair tried to relax in his embrace, but instead of thinking of her fiancé, her thoughts –against her will- once more drifted to Chuck Bass and the kiss they had shared in her dreams. The passion and the love she had felt in his arms was so very different than what she felt with Jack. While she knew Jack loved her, part of her was also very afraid that what she felt for him in return would never be enough.

* * *

Thanks to my lovely reviewers: SnowedUnderNJ, omgtowel, nostalgiakills, JYLlian, .x0x0, Kou Shun'u, Poinsettia, elodie6391, READER120, Koenig, Pao, xoxo - Amber, PradaPrincess, odyjha, Krazy4Spike, heather643, SaturnineSunshine, Crystal, TGPfuture writer, Syrianora, Samantha, flowerfalls, hiddenletter, poochbello, uncorazonquebrado, Lil Miss Chuckles, abelard, :D, Shanynde, 1, puresimplicity-xo and Dystopic Entropy.

I apologize for the lack of C/B in this chapter, but the next one is all about them. :D

Much love to Camilla for the beta job.

I am currently looking for another beta. Someone who can do some basic editing for me and catch my errors so I don't look like too much of a moron when I post. ;) If interested please PM me. I would be eternally grateful for the help.


	8. Chapter 8

Chuck waited impatiently for Blair, each moment passing slowly like sand through an hourglass. He was desperately afraid that she would fail to appear. As he watched her slim figure enter the Armani showrooms he felt the world tilt and spin. His prayers had been answered.

Blair sauntered into the room as casually as possible, even though her heart was pounding in her ears like a drum. Up until the last moment she had almost turned around and left, but she had been overcome by an insatiable curiosity. Here was her chance to try and decipher her dreams and memories once and for all.

"You came," Chuck said smirking casually as if he hadn't been waiting breathlessly for her appearance.

"Of course, why wouldn't I?" Blair demanded, rolling her eyes.

"I thought maybe your prince would have locked you up back up in your tower after last night," Chuck said dryly.

"He is not my prince and you shouldn't have done that. Jack doesn't like to be teased and your gesture, however extravagant, taunted him. Don't back him into a corner, he can be vicious," Blair warned.

"I know." Chuck's face-hardened. "We are related, after all," he said cynically. "He doesn't know you're here with me does he?"

"No, and I would prefer he didn't find out," Blair said brusquely, trying to gloss over her nervousness.

"Don't worry, this will remain between you and me. It will be our little secret," Chuck leered.

"There is no me and you and I will tell Jack when the time is right," Blair said giving Chuck a quelling glance. "It doesn't look good to have the two major owners of Bass Industries fighting. This feuding between the two of you needs to stop."

"Are you offering yourself up as the sacrificial lamb?" Chuck asked, eyeing her hotly from head to toe and back again appreciatively. "I must admit I admire my uncle's taste."

"You're disgusting," Blair said her lips curling with disdain.

"Maybe…"Chuck shrugged, lifting one brow at her suggestively, "But I promise, given time, I will grow on you."

"Lets get this over with. Where are we to eat?" Blair asked, giving him a look of disgust. "I can't be seen in public with you."

"You wound me." Chuck placed a hand over his heart exaggeratedly.

"You have exactly one hour," Blair said with a hint of a smile, as she tapped her index finger on her platinum Cartier watch.

"Then we had best be on our way." Chuck said huskily, barely keeping his eagerness in check as he led her through the back entrance to where his limousine awaited.

Blair gazed disdainfully around her as she stepped around crates filled with colorful fabrics and naked mannequins. "Do you do this often?"

"What?" Chuck asked holding out his hand to catch her as she started to stumble.

"Sneak your conquests out the back of designer showrooms," Blair said insolently even as she gratefully let him enclose her small hand in his large one.

"I didn't realize you were a conquest?" Chuck quipped slyly, as he threaded his fingers through hers.

Blair tried to pull away, but Chuck's hand held her fast. Inhaling softly she tried to still the beating of her heart as the contact of just his hand on hers made her blood bubble through her veins like champagne. Opening the back door Chuck pulled her through the entrance, stopping for a moment to regard her heated cheeks with amusement.

"This is your car?" Blair asked faintly, as she stood face to face with the same limousine that had chauffeured her and Serena around town yesterday.

"Yes, I sometimes let my step-sister borrow it when she asks especially nice," he explained his voice lingering over the word nice.

"I see," Blair said stiffly, following him into the back of the limousine. Trapped inside she stared out the window at the passing traffic. She wouldn't look at Chuck. Not now when all she could think of was the vision from yesterday of herself kissing him as if he was the very air she breathed. Shutting her eyes more images flashed in her brain. Her straddling Chuck, her pearls swinging between her breasts, Chuck slipping the strap of her slip over her shoulder. Tingling with erotic sensations, her thighs growing moist she shifted uncomfortably in her seat. Taking a deep breath she wiped the images from her mind like an eraser on a chalkboard, leaving her mind blank to focus on Jack.

Chuck watched her carefully, noting the subtle heightening of her color, the frequent fluttering of her eyelids. He knew she was remembering and the thought pleased and tormented him all at once. For the first time he was worried that he was rushing her, forcing too much at once, but then he recalled Jack's triumphant smile at the restaurant and he knew that it was time for the butterfly to emerge.

Blair gasped as the limousine pulled up to the house she and Serena had visited yesterday, the one that seemed to hold her deepest unconscious desires.

"No," she whispered as the limo driver opened the door for them and waited patiently for them to alight.

Standing at the street, looking up at the imposing house, the iron scrollwork gated door now resembled an elegant prison instead of the stately entryway from yesterday.

"No, "Blair murmured, shaking her head, her feet fixed firmly on the ground. She couldn't breathe, it was as if the elegant wrought iron had come alive and was winding its way around her neck like a snake, asphyxiating her.

"Yes, Audrey," Chuck rasped, his arm coiling around her waist as he pulled her to the door. As soon as the door slammed behind them, Blair pushed hard at Chuck, throwing herself out of his grasp. Breathing heavily she paced the floors like a wild animal, looking him straight in the eye.

"Why did you bring me here?" Blair asked, her chest rising and falling erratically with every breath.

"This is my home. I brought you here for lunch," he said coolly, approaching her slowly as if she was dangerous.

"No, it can't be. This home is for sale. I visited it yesterday with Serena," Blair said, with confusion.

"I own this house, but it is not and never has been for sale," Chuck said strangely, his voice thick and heavy. "It is waiting patiently for its mistress to return."

"She's dead," Blair said tonelessly, blankly. Colors swirled, turning to black and white as her brain began to shut down. Images and flashes of her and Jack blossomed in front of her eyes like inkblots, only to bleed into full color scenes of her and Chuck.

"Is she?" Chuck asked with a calm he did not feel. He had started a process he no longer was sure he could control. He was tearing apart the very woven fabric that was Audrey Hawthorne, unraveling it thread by thread.

Blair shook her head, forcefully clearing all colors and images from her mind. "No, Serena specifically said she was dead. She was your fiancé?" she asked calmly as if she just hadn't almost had a small breakdown in the middle of the entryway of the townhouse.

"She was," Chuck said softly, his eyes reflecting the pain of nearly a thousand days without Blair, days spent believing she was dead.

Overwhelmed by sadness for a woman she had never met and terrified of what would happen if she stayed one minute longer in this house with ghosts at every turn, Blair stared at her watch. "You have twenty minutes Chuck before I beat the door of this house down."

"Lunch awaits," Chuck said heading up the stairs.

Blair gulped as the staircase wavered before her eyes. Pausing at the first step with dread she stood still, afraid to take one more step that would bring her closer to the bedroom and the bed she had now dreamed of twice.

"I never took you for a coward, Audrey," Chuck called out over his shoulder as he stepped higher up the stairs.

"I'm not," Blair replied haughtily, as the world tilted like a funhouse with each step she made up the curved elegant steps. Reaching the landing, she swayed as her heart palpitated like a snare drum. In that instant he was there, his arm around her waist. She shoved him roughly away. "You forget yourself, Chuck. You have exactly," she looked at her watch, "Nineteen minutes now to feed me and get me out of here."

Chuck could see the fragile veneer under the surface. Blair and Audrey were beginning to bleed into each other and he exalted in it. Just one more push and they would be there. She would be back and his once more.

Throwing open the gilt double doors to the master bedroom, Chuck unveiled his luncheon. Candles covered every surface, flickering and coating the room in a golden glow. On one of the tables, spread out picnic style, was exotic cheeses, breads, cold lobster salad, fruit and a bottle of wine, her birthday wine. Standing in honor in the bedroom, just as she remembered, was the four-poster bed of her dreams and nightmares. Draped in silk it called to her like a siren in a storm.

Blair's stomach clawed at her, her heart jumping into her throat as her brain tried to process the scene before her. It felt so right, like it had happened before and anything different would be wrong and foreign.

"Have we met before," Blair asked with the slightest hint of bravado, still fighting what her heart already knew to be true.

Chuck advanced slowly towards her, his lips twisted into a secret smile she had never seen before and one that scared her. "What do you think, Audrey?"

She stared up at him despair shining in her eyes. "I don't know anymore," she said her voice sounding like a child terrified of the monster she knew existed under the bed that no one else could see.

Placing his arms around her, he lifted her into his embrace carrying her as if she was as light as a feather. She didn't even bother to struggle instead she surrendered to him. She was lost and the only thing that seemed real right now was Chuck and his touch. She was suddenly so tired, physically as well as mentally drained. Curling into the fetal position she nestled herself into the heavy satin coverlet that covered the bed. Chuck sat next to her and nestling his fingers in her curls, he stroked and smoothed her hair just the way she had always liked. The only way she had ever been able to relax. "I have been here before, haven't I," Blair whispered shakily.

"Yes," Chuck said, his voice breaking.

"Tell me," Blair whispered.

"Blair," he whispered, her name a holy prayer.

"Blair," she echoed, her voice sounding tinny and far away to her own ear. She knew that name. Somehow it was all tied to everything, the house, the bed, the wine and the dreams. It had to be the key to everything.

"Your name is Blair," Chuck said, his voice breaking.

Blair shook her head in denial, her eyes large and scared. "No, my name is Audrey," she said in the tone of a little girl lost.

"No, it is Blair," Chuck said, his eyes shimmering with pain. "Your name is Blair and you are my fiancé.

"No, no. " Blair shook her head wildly.

"Yes, Blair. You are mine and I have loved you ever since that night in the limo."

"You know about that?" She asked, her hand covering her mouth in shock. Pushing him away she rose from the bed, only to find him blocking her path.

"I know everything there is to know about you. Just like I know you have been dreaming of me. Only those dreams aren't dreams, they are repressed memories of our time together," Chuck said his voice low and purposefully seductive.

"I am not yours, I have never been yours. I am Audrey Hawthorne and I am engaged to Jack Bass." Blair declared, stepping around him, making her way to the door.

Chuck pounced, stalking her like panther. Coming closer and closer to her with each step until he had backed her up against the wall. Leaning in he trapped her, imprisoning her with his arms. She wanted to struggle, to push him away, but looking into his passion filled eyes, she felt only the stirrings of desire.

"You can't run from me. There is no place you can hide I won't find you. Jack can no longer protect you now that you know the truth," Chuck said his voice heady with triumph.

Gripping her shoulders, his lips masterfully caught hers. She struggled, in his embrace, but he only pulled her closer to him. As his mouth pressed firmly against hers, she was stunned, taken out of her world and into another, one where only Chuck existed. Sensation flooded her, her knees trembling as he kissed her with deep, drugging kisses. She closed her eyes, eyelashes fluttering like butterfly wings as visions of two of them in the bed together, in the back of the limo, flashed behind her eyelids. In her mind she tried to replace the images of Chuck with Jack and to her ultimate shame she couldn't. She was drowning in desire, flames licking at her skin, setting her afire.

"Audrey!"

Ripping her lips from Chuck's, Blair heart skipped a beat, stalling in her chest as she came face to face with Jack.

"Jack," she breathed, pulling away from Chuck. "I didn't mean too…I don't know what I was thinking."

"It's all right. I don't blame you," Jack said coldly. "I know how persuasive my nephew can be."

"She didn't need much persuasion, did you Blair?" Chuck asked silkily. Reaching up he cupped the side of her face, his thumb tracing the curve of her cheek.

Blair glanced from Chuck to Jack, her eyes wide and scared.

"Come here, Audrey," Jack commanded, gesturing sharply at the empty space beside him. "The car is waiting to take you home."

Blair obediently started to move towards him, only to have Chuck stop her as his hand gripped her wrist.

Twisting in his grasp, Blair fought to free herself.

"She's starting to remember. It won't be long now, Uncle Jack, before she is mine again." Chuck said triumphantly, releasing Blair from his grasp slowly one reluctant finger after another.

Jack held out his hand, catching Blair's as she stumbled towards him.

"What does he mean?" Blair asked frantically, as Jack folded her into his arms protectively.

"I'll explain it to you in the car," Jack said soothingly attempting to lead her from the room.

"No, explain it to me now," Blair demanded, her body stiffening in his grasp.

"I'll tell you everything, but you need to come with me now," Jack said warningly, pulling her down the stairs one step at a time.

Chuck followed after them, his eyes dark and hard. "You don't have to go with him, Blair."

"Stop calling me that!" Blair shouted angrily, over her shoulder.

"Let her go, Jack. You can't keep the truth hidden from her much longer," Chuck called out.

Blair gasped, her legs bucking under her as her brain exploded with pain. Flashes of memory were coming to the surface faster and faster. Images of her and Jack danced side by side with ones of her and Chuck in the crazy carousel of her consciousness. "Make it stop," she whispered.

"I will, darling. You just have to let me take you home," Jack said as he picked her up in his arms.

"Put her down," Chuck commanded, his voice heightened with anger and fear.

Blair struggled, kicking and screaming as Jack's arms tightened around her like a vise. "Put me down."

Jack ignored her, as he walked through the iron-gated doorway towards his waiting town car. Like a hissing cat, her nails clawed at his face until he was forced to set her down.

"Audrey, please," Jack pleaded. His worst nightmare was coming true, his plans slipping through his fingers. Worst of all he was going to lose her.

Blair took a deep breath, gathering her strength around her. "No," she said defiantly. "I am not going anywhere with you."

"Blair," Chuck rasped, opening his arms to her.

"Or you," Blair added, glaring at him. Pulling her phone from her purse she found the number she wanted instantly. "Serena, I need you."

"Audrey, you don't want to do this," Jack said softly.

"Chuck, since New York taxis leave much to be desired, I am taking your limo. I hope you don't mind," Blair said with acidic sweetness.

Chuck smiled slowly, his eyes glittering at Jack maliciously. "Arthur is at your disposal," he offered.

"Thank you," Blair said with a slight smile.

"Audrey," Jack shouted, as Blair was ushered into the limousine by Arthur.

"We will talk later. I promise, but first I need to see Serena," Blair said with a calmness she did not feel. Blair or Audrey, she no longer knew who she was. One thing she did know, with an instinct she couldn't explain, was that Serena would tell her the truth and set her free.

Jack watched in anger as Blair turned her back on him and drove off in Chuck's limousine.

"You haven't won her back yet," Jack snarled at Chuck.

"Maybe not, but if you think she will ever look at you again after she knows the truth, think again," Chuck said triumphantly.

Jack took a deep breath, considering the matter, his eyes shrewd and assessing. "I wouldn't be too sure of that. I am all she knows, all she has. She has no choice, but to ultimately come home to me."

Chuck slowly raised one eyebrow at Jack. "If I know Blair and I do…the only way she will be coming home to you is with a knife hidden between her dainty hands. Making it all the easier to stab you in the back when you least expect it."

"You may know Blair…" Jack said slyly. "But I know Audrey." With those parting words he turned, heading towards his parked town car.

"Tell me how you did it?" Chuck called out, shoving his fists deeply in his pockets, so deep he wouldn't be tempted to punch Jack. "I know why, but I still haven't figured out how."

Grinning with self-satisfaction, Jack turned around. "One of those companies Bass Industries acquired under my management, developed a chemical that could block painful memories, inhibit them so to speak. It has been so successful in trials so far that Bass Industries stands to make a killing if it ever becomes FDA approved."

Jack's smile faltered briefly, his brow furrowing as he continued. "Out of all our subject's, Blair, was the least successful. It was actually harder then I thought it would be. Her memories of you and her life here fought us every step of the way. Fortunately, enough of them were traumatic enough that the drug was finally able to work it's magic."

Chuck looked at Jack with horror the implications of what he had just learned filled him with revulsion. While he had always known Blair had suffered from insecurities where Serena was concerned and he had certainly made life difficult for her when his father died he never would have dreamed her memories would be so negative they could be so easily erased. "You sick son of a bitch."

"I wouldn't talk about your grandmother that way, Charles," Jack sneered. "Think of what dear Daddy would say?"

"You want the company, Jack? You can have it." Chuck paused, his eyes darkening into cold narrow slits. "Just leave Blair alone."

Jack chuckled, the sound ugly. "I would if I could. Unfortunately us Bass men always want what we shouldn't. You should understand." He paused, tapping his finger on his chin in thought as he considered the offer. "But maybe, just this once, I could make an exception."

"I think that would be an idea that would be extremely beneficial to your continued well-being," Chuck replied, his lips twisting into a sick smile.

"Are you threatening me?" Jack asked calmly, even as his eyes darted nervously from side to side.

Chuck merely stared at him, his sadistic smile never leaving his face.

"Even if she starts to remember, she will never be your Blair again," Jack taunted snidely, aware that while he might lose the battle he could still win the war.

"I love her enough that I don't care who she is, as long as she is mine," Chuck replied. Turning his back on his uncle, he walked away.

* * *

Thanks once again to all my wonderful reviewers: .x0x0, xoxo - Amber, SnowedUnderNJ, JYLlian, Cathybronte, READER120, annablake, Franci, Poinsettia, flipped, TriGemini, Eternal Destiny 304, GossipGirlFanForever, Kensley-Jackson, abelard, Pao, Lil Miss Chuckles, :D, blair4eva and Syrianora.

I can't begin to tell you how much your support and comments mean to me.

Thanks also to my amazing beta's GossipGirlFanForever and Shanynde.

In case anyone is wondering the technology to erase traumatic memories is currently under development. It was an article about the drug successfully being used in studies with lab rats that brought the idea for this story alive. If you would like links to the scientific articles please PM me.


	9. Chapter 9

Blair stood in front of Serena's apartment door, her heart pounding in her chest. Trying to breathe, she exhaled slowly, as the door swung open.

Serena gulped as she took in Blair's appearance. While Blair was perfectly coiffed as always, every hair in place, every wrinkle smoothed, her eyes gave her away. Large and wild they pleaded with her.

"Is it true Serena?" Blair questioned brokenly. "This Blair Waldorf, am I her?"

Serena looked at her friend with scared eyes as she debated whether or not to tell the truth. "I don't want to hurt you," she said with a calm she did not feel.

"You are already hurting me by not telling me the truth. Who am I?" Blair asked her tone almost hysterical.

"Your name is Blair Waldorf and you are my best friend in the whole world. I have known you for as long as I can remember," Serena replied softly.

"No," Blair said stubbornly, shaking her head, "It can't be. My name is Audrey Hawthorne and I just met you a few days ago."

"I'm so sorry. I wish there was some other way to do this. Some way that wouldn't cause you pain."

"Too late for that," Blair said angrily.

Biting the inside of her cheek, Serena stifled her smile. Audrey's strength and fire reminded Serena so much of her old friend. Blair was shining through Audrey like rays of sun through a crack in the wall.

"Audrey, deep down you have to know that what I am saying to you is true. The memories, they are starting to come back to you. The limo, the house, those are all scenes from your life as Blair Waldorf."

"It just doesn't make sense. How did this happen? How can I be Blair if I am Audrey?" Blair cried, twisting and untwisting her hand together in agitation.

Serena grabbed Blair's hands in hers, forcing them to lay still. "You can't."

Taking a deep breath, Blair tried to consider the matter logically. "Okay. Let's assume that I am Blair, how could this happen?

Leading Blair to the couch, Serena sat down beside her. "I am not exactly sure. I am guessing it all started with Jack."

"Jack? My fiancé, Jack? What on earth does he have to do with this." Blair asked with confusion.

"He isn't who you think he is," Serena paused, as she searched for the right words to explain Jack and his deeds. "Jack has always wanted Bass Industries ever since Chuck was a small boy. When Bart died, and Chuck kicked him out of the company Jack wanted revenge.

"I don't understand? What does this have to do with me?" Blair asked faintly, terribly afraid of what the answer would be. She was suddenly aware of how central Jack had become to her very fragile and tenuous hold on reality. For the last few years he had been all she had, her only family. For a moment she almost hesitated, considered walking away from Serena, letting the truth stay buried, but she couldn't do that. Not after everything she had just been through.

"Everything," Serena said firmly. "Before the accident you were Blair Waldorf and very much in love with Chuck Bass. You two were engaged, and happy. The happiest I'd ever seen the two of you."

"What?" Blair replied sharply. "That isn't possible. Chuck is arrogant, egotistical and manipulative.

Serena chuckled, "Those are the very qualities that you love about him."

Blair bristled like a porcupine. "I do not love Chuck Bass," she said defiantly, giving Serena a cross look.

Grinning smugly, Serena ignored her. "Anyway, the point is Jack would do anything to destroy Chuck. So he struck at the one thing that would hurt Chuck the most…you. I don't know how he did it but you were on your way to see your dad in the Bass jet and it crashed. We all thought you were dead. Chuck was devastated. In his grief he could no longer run Bass industries so he turned the company over to Jack."

"I dreamed that," Blair said in a hushed voice. "After the accident I used to dream all the time about getting on a plane that never went anywhere. I always thought it was odd that I dreamed of a airplane when I had been in a car accident."

"Jack told Chuck you never made it on the plane," Serena hesitated, trying to decide whether to continue as she watched Blair's face pale even further.

"It's true then? Jack admitted it?" Blair searched Serena's face looking for confirmation. Finding what she sought, she blinked slowly and looked down at her hands. Her world was crumbling apart, one horrifying detail after another. Her fingers twisted and spun her engagement ring on her finger. The beautiful diamond that had been the only source of her happiness over the past few years suddenly felt huge and cumbersome on her hand. Her ring finger ached and burned under its heavy weight.

Serena blinked rapidly, trying to stop the tears she could already feel collecting in the corners of her eyes. "I am so sorry, Audrey."

"It's not really Audrey, then is it?" Blair said bitterly, rising to her feet and walking over to the windows.

Serena followed, catching up to her. "Audrey, Blair, it doesn't matter anymore to me. I know _you_. You are my best friend, what ever your name, I know_ you_."

"I don't know who I am anymore," Blair whispered, gazing outside at the passing traffic. "I don't know who Jack is either. That he could do something so horrible to someone he supposedly loves terrifies me."

Serena reached out to touch her arm soothingly. "What are you going to do?"

"I can tell you the engagement is off," Blair stated coldly, her voice sharp and bitter cut into Serena like glass.

"Audrey, please stay away from him. I don't know what he will do now that he knows you're remembering. I'm scared for you."

Blair ran her fingers along the smooth wood of the windowsill. "I wouldn't worry about me. What is the worst that can happen? He already stole my life and my memories. What more can he take?" she asked wistfully, completely oblivious to the noisy streets of traffic beneath her.

"He doesn't have what he wants yet. This whole thing has always been about revenge and Bass Industries. He has neither now that you are remembering. You and Chuck aren't safe," Serena warned.

Blair shook her head. "He won't hurt me. At least not anymore then he already has," she stated wryly. "What may have started as revenge for Jack turned into something more. You may not believe me, but I know Jack feels something for me."

"I don't believe that monster is capable of feeling anything towards anyone," Serena spat out.

"You don't spend almost three years being someone's fiancé without learning a bit about them. Jack may not have ever planned on this being about anything more then revenge, but his plan backfired."

"She's right," Chuck said from behind them, both girls turning at the sound of his voice. "Blair?" he called out anxiously, reaching her side he moved as if to embrace her only to have her step away from him closer to Serena's side. "Are you alright?"

Blair's eyes narrowed dangerously at Chuck. "Stay away from me, Bass. I don't trust you either."

Chuck's arms fell to his sides dejectedly. "Did you tell her the truth, Serena?"

"I did," Serena said with a sad smile.

"I won't be manipulated or used by you either," Blair said, once more twisting her engagement ring tightly around her finger.

Chuck's eyes were drawn to the large diamond on her hand and it took all of his self-control not to rip it off her hand. "I wouldn't worry. It's not like I would kidnap you and erase your memories," Chuck said darkly.

"No you would just trick me into lunch and then force me to face my past without any regard for my mental state," Blair said bitterly.

"You were starting to remember." Chuck ran his fingers through his hair wildly. "What would you have me do? Leave you to live a lie with the man that destroyed you?"

Blair's mouth opened and closed as she considered what to say. "You could have trusted that I would have figured things out on my own."

"Because that was working out so well for you wasn't it," Chuck replied sarcastically. "What was I supposed to do? Leave you there for Jack to torment further like a rat in a cage? " Chuck's voice trembled at the thought of Blair spending one more moment in the hands of his uncle.

"No." Blair looked up at Chuck, the fire that had previously sparked in her eyes now extinguished.

Chucks heart broke at the sad, shattered look on her face. He would rather have her spitting mad at him then have her look at him like she was right now. "I couldn't let you stay with him one moment longer. Especially once I realized how he felt. Last night at the restaurant, when he looked at you, there was a spark of something in his eyes, something that made me realize just how dangerous your situation was. Jack is no longer in this for revenge, he wants the company and he wants you."

"What are we going to do?" Serena asked her voice small and scared. "He isn't going to back down this easily."

"We will give him what he wants," Chuck replied, his worried gaze never leaving Blair's face. "I will sign over Bass Industries to him in return for him leaving Blair alone."

Blair flinched as Chuck spoke her true name, the fire returning once more to her eyes as she clenched her fists tightly. "No, I won't have you do that."

"You don't have a choice. I am not about to bargain or play games with him anymore." Chuck's face darkened dangerously as he considered all the things he was going to do to his Uncle once he had Blair safe.

"What about what I want?" Blair asked, putting her hands on her hips. "This whole thing started because Jack wanted Bass Industries and now you are going to hand it over to him on a silver platter?"

"Yes, if it keeps you safe. I won't have you hurt anymore."

"Too late," Blair lashed out. "I don't know who I am anymore. I just found out my life has been used like a pawn in some sick game of chess, all for control of a company you just want to hand over. Don't I have a say in any of this?"

Chuck sighed heavily, "Why can't you see I am doing this for you. I would do anything, give anything to protect you, keep you safe. I can't loose you again. What would you have me do?"

Blair raised her hand to rub at her forehead. Her head was pounding, the day's activities were finally starting to catch up to her. "The damage is already done. Don't make it worse by handing over the one thing he wants more then anything."

Chuck's eyes locked on hers, the gesture not going unnoticed. He needed to get her to rest. He knew Blair was strong, stronger then anyone he had ever known, but what she had been through today was enough to give a person a nervous breakdown.

"Chuck, I think this is enough for today," Serena said softy as Blair seemed to wilt before their eyes.

"Fine, I won't do anything…" Chuck paused, his eyes resting heavily on Blair's pale face. "...Yet. As long as you promise to have my doctor check you out and you get some rest."

Blair eyes widened, brightening with fear. "No more doctors. You can't imagine what it is like, to be studied and experimented on. Every day there are new pills and new delusions. Doctors that tell me that my memories are the ravings of a sick person and if I just take my medicine it will all be better in the morning. But it never is better. I wake up and it starts all over again." Her thin shoulders shuddered as her voice trailed off into a hoarse whisper.

"We need to know that there hasn't been any permanent damage. I promise they won't hurt you," Chuck said, his heart aching at her terror.

"You really should get checked out," Serena said reaching out to lay her hand on Blair's shoulder. "I promise to be with you the whole time.

Chuck watched enviously as Serena comforted Blair. He would give anything to be the one to touch her, make her feel safe. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and make the world disappear.

"You will be here when I'm done?" Blair asked Chuck in a childlike voice. Her hands clutched at her skirt, bunching the fabric in her tiny hands.

"I promise," Chuck vowed. His heart sang at this small bit of trust between them. That she still wanted to see him again reassured him that everything he had done so far was justified.

"What do I do after that? Where do I go?" Blair spoke blankly. "Jack has everything I own. I have nothing without him."

"You are not going back to him," Serena said firmly. Her eyes beseeched Chuck to come up with a solution.

"You will stay with me," Chuck stated as if there was no doubt at all where she belonged.

Blair swallowed hard, "I can't do that." Staring at Chuck, all she could think about was him kissing her, touching her all over and God help her part of her wanted him too. It would be so easy to loose herself in his kisses, especially now since she knew they were just as good as the memories and dreams.

"Why?" Chuck asked, smiling smugly. He would have to be blind not to see the effect he had on her. He just needed to find a way to use it to his advantage. "You belong with me, we were practically married before Jack interfered."

Blair's legs wobbled underneath her as she made her way to the couch. "Maybe Blair was in love with you, but I'm not her and I don't know if I will ever be her."

Serena rushed to sit next to her friend. "You don't need to be her sweetie. Just be yourself," she said with a pointed look at Chuck. "You don't have to stay with Chuck, you can stay with me."

Shaking her head, Blair absently stroked the edge of the couch, the rough tapestry fabric giving her something to focus on other then Chuck. "I need some time and space away from all this if I am ever going to recover. I can't have constant reminders shoved in my face all the time."

"You can stay at the Palace. I still own the place and I can make sure that Jack doesn't bother you there," Chuck replied. Catching Serena's eye over Blair's head he sent her a pleading look. With him already living at the Palace he could be close to her, keep an eye on her and make sure she was safe.

Serena pressed her lips together considering the matter. She had no doubt that Chuck would take every advantage living so close to Blair would entail, but at least Blair would be away from Jack. Staying at the hotel had other advantages, Blair could have her space to herself and yet at the same time Chuck would be close if she needed anything. Besides the security the hotel had was the best to be found, Chuck had made sure of that when he was doing his best to shut them all out of his life.

"I don't know…" Blair hesitated, staring at the floor as she tried to figure out why the name of the hotel, The Palace, seemed to fill her with warmth and anticipation. "Have I been there before?"

"I live there and you often stayed there with me," Chuck said. At Blair's small frown he rushed to reassure her. "You can have your own suite, as far away from me as you like. The Palace even offers breakfast in bed, a service I am more then willing to deliver to you, personally," he said, with a wink.

Serena spoke up, rolling her eyes at Chuck's lame innuendo. "It really is the best solution. You can have your own space, yet we will still be close. I am just a few minutes from The Palace if you need anything and Nate is even closer."

Furrowing her brow, Serena turned to face Chuck. "Speaking of Nate, why isn't he here?"

"Who's Nate?" Blair asked with puzzlement, the name sounded familiar, but she couldn't place it.

Chuck shifted uncomfortably, from one foot to the other. "With all the excitement I forgot to call him," he offered lamely.

"Sure you did," Serena said, giving Chuck her sternest look. The one she had specially reserved for him over the years. "He needs to be a part of this. Blair, I mean Audrey," Serena corrected herself with a look at Blair, "might remember him."

"And why would she remember him more then anyone else," Chuck asked with a slight edge to his voice.

Serena cleared her throat uncomfortably, with an apologetic look at Blair. "Her memories so far have been of the more intimate nature."

"From what Blair shared with me I can't think of anything memorable about Nate and his performance that would have her remembering him at all," Chuck drawled.

Blair tapped her foot on the floor with annoyance. "Thank you for sharing that, Serena. Now would someone would please tell me who Nate is?" She asked her voice dripping with acidic sweetness.

"He was your first boyfriend—" Serena replied

"But not your first," Chuck interrupted with a leer in Blair's direction.

Blair narrowed her eyes at him. "You are disgusting. I suppose you somehow managed to finagle your way into being my first?" She asked disinterestedly even though her face was flushed and hot.

Chuck eyed her up and down, his eyes scorching and intense. "It was an honor, " he rasped, his voice low and rumbling sent shivers of heat down Blair's spine.

"Growing up it was always the four of us," Serena continued, choosing to pretend the last minute of conversation had never taken place. "We even had a name for ourselves, 'The non-judging Breakfast Club.' No matter what we have always been there for each other," Serena said casting Chuck a significant look.

Blair scrunched up her nose. "Like the movie?"

Serena nodded, "Exactly. Nate will be so happy when I tell him you are finally starting to remember… and you have left Jack."

Blair laid her head tiredly against the back of the couch. "So another person who knows me that I can't remember."

Chuck and Serena exchanged glances, both in agreement with what the other was thinking.

"I think it's time to call it a day," Serena said rising from the couch to grab her coat. "After everything that has happened you need to rest."

"The limo is waiting downstairs. Let me take you to The Palace," Chuck offered. "I can have a suite ready for you in minutes."

Blair wanted to argue, but her head was swimming. If she didn't lie down soon she was afraid she would collapse and the last thing she wanted was for anyone to see her weak.

Standing up she swayed a bit on her feet and in that instant Chuck's arms were around her waist holding her close.

"Are you alright?" He asked not even bothering to mask his worry and concern.

"Now you're concerned?" Blair asked sarcastically, even as she leaned into his arms. For just a moment she allowed herself to drink in the warmth, the strength of his body before pushing him away.

"Have you eaten anything today, Audrey?" Serena asked carefully, looking directly at Blair.

Blair fidgeted, straightening the pleats in her dress. "I am just tired."

"She didn't eat lunch," Chuck said grimly. Pulling out his shone he texted rapidly. "I will have your favorites prepared and sent to your suite."

"My favorites or Blair's favorites?" Blair asked, her voice void of all emotion.

Sighing, Chuck finished punching in commands and put his phone back in his pocket.

"Blair's favorites. I am sure you will find something you like and if you don't the chef is at your disposal." Sauntering closer to Blair, Chuck leaned in to murmur in her ear. "Don't worry, I have every intention of getting to know Audrey's favorites as well."

Blair nervously smoothed her hair back from her forehead, taking a step away from Chuck. As tired as she was she couldn't help the secret little thrill she got deep in her heart from knowing that Chuck wanted to spend time with her.

Opening the door, Serena waited for Blair to exit. As Chuck followed Serena grinned at him, her eyes dancing with happiness. Chuck nodded slowly in agreement. Blair was out of Jack's clutches and was coming home to where she belonged. While she might not be with him in suite 1812 at least she would be under the same roof, right across the hall from him. Smiling he allowed himself the satisfaction of knowing that it wouldn't be long now. He would make sure that wherever Blair went, whatever she did, he would be there until she would have no choice but to fall in love with him all over again.

* * *

I apologize for the delay in posting. I had a bit of writer's block and I got caught up in my new story. The next chapter for this is already written so I promise I won't make you wait long. :D

Much love to all my reviewers: Whitney1812, , BassBillionaire, Catheryne, victrolagg21, SErinS, Passions, RubyQueen, Jensens Fan, Syrianora, uncorazonquebrado, Poinsettia, READER120, abelard, RustyJimmy, Chairforever, 24hrscout, RR, Krazy4Spike, Lena Belle, wrighthangal. Tiffany Rae, TriGemini, hiddenletter, fra, JYLlian, blair4eva, :D, chairfan101, KillerNewton, Lil Miss Chuckles, , odyjha, annablake, GossipGirlFanForever, flipped, Samantha, Krism and Eternal Destiny 304.

Thanks to Chole, GossipGirlFanForever and Shanynde for looking this over and offering their wonderful insights and corrections. All mistakes are my own.


	10. Chapter 10

Blair woke with a start as a key card fumbled in the lock of her door. Rising from her bed, she drew on one of Serena's borrowed silk robes. Having left Jack with only the clothes on her back, she had been reduced to wearing Serena's borrowed things. Tripping over the hem of the robe, Blair cursed Serena's long, coltish legs.

With a last longing look at the rumpled silken sheets of her bed, Blair exited the bedroom. Entering the main room of the penthouse suite she was startled to find Chuck Bass leading a porter with a wheeled cart of steaming metal domed dishes into the room's small dining area. Dismissing the waiter with a wave, Chuck began removing the covers of various dishes of breakfast foods.

"Boundaries, Bass?" Blair asked with irritation, tying her robe tightly around her waist.

Chuck paused to leer appreciatively at Blair, his gaze taking in the slightly mussed curls that reminded him of so many mornings spent lying in bed after a vigorous bout of lovemaking. Attired in an emerald green silk negligee and matching robe it took all of his willpower not to walk over, take her in his arms and carry her to the bedroom.

"Relax, it's only breakfast," he replied sarcastically.

"That's not the point," Blair huffed. "You said you would keep your distance."

Chuck finished loading the last of the breakfast dishes on the table before turning to look at her with frustration. "You promised to eat, yesterday."

"I did," Blair said defensively.

"So neither one of us keeps our promises," Chuck said wryly, seating himself at the table and helping himself to some golden, flaky waffles. "And some grapes and a slice of melon do not count as eating."

"So now you are spying on me, just like Jack?" Blair asked angrily, trying to ignore her hunger as Chuck piled freshly whipped cream and berries on his waffles.

"It is not spying when the chef complains to me about his delicious meal being returned practically untouched. You know chefs and their ego's."

"No, but I know Bass men and their ego's," Blair complained haughtily.

Chuck smiled tightly, pushing out the empty chair next to himself. "Have a seat."

Blair gazed longingly at the piles of food as their delicious aroma's wafted under her nose. To her dismay and embarrassment her stomach chose that exact moment to emit a low growl.

Chuck laughed and slid the plate of waffles closer to Blair. "I don't bite. That is, of course, unless you want me to." His eyes wandered heatedly over her slender form, clinging to her curves, and Blair flushed as her heart sped up in her chest.

Pointedly ignoring him, she sat down. Chuck watched as she delicately speared one waffle, adding just the tiniest amount of whipped cream and a small pile of fresh fruit. Out of the corner of his eyes he observed every bite she took, smiling to himself with satisfaction when she had consumed most of the waffle.

Pushing back her plate, Blair took a small sip of orange juice, enjoying the way the tart taste flowed over her taste buds. "So what happens now?"

"What do you want to happen?" Chuck asked lightly, leaning back in his chair.

Blair clutched the linen table napkin between her knuckles nervously. "I don't know. I don't know who I am, I have no money and no home."

Chuck leaned forward in his chair, his hand reaching out to lightly touch her arm for a moment, before falling once more to his side. "You are Blair Waldorf and I am your home," Chuck said firmly.

"When you look at me you see, Blair Waldorf," Blair paused and turned her gaze on Chuck, her eyes begging for understanding. "But when I look in the mirror I see another person entirely."

"Audrey Hawthorne," Chuck interjected.

Blair nodded, blinking away the tears that were already gathering in the corners of her eyes. "I don't know if or when I will ever be her."

"But you have started to remember things?"

Blair flushed, looking away from Chuck. "I have," she said in a small voice. "Just not anything that would be helpful."

"I would disagree," Chuck, said his voice low and husky. "You are remembering the happiest and most important moments in Blair's life."

Blair's cheek turned as red as ripe apples. "So Blair's most memorable moments consisted of sex?"

"With me," Chuck replied with a leer, the devil dancing in his eyes. "Perhaps a demonstration is in order?"

"There is more to life than sex," Blair replied disdainfully, rolling her eyes.

"Then you are doing it wrong," Chuck drawled. A muscle clenched in his jaw, his eyes growing ice-cold as a thought occurred to him. "He hasn't touched you has he?" Chuck asked, his voice sharp.

Blair looked down at her hands, her fingers against their will twisted and pulled at the engagement ring that still adorned her finger. "I—".

Chuck rose from his chair and picking up his empty glass of orange juice he threw it against the wall. Together they watched the liquid splatter and rush to the floor. Walking over to the built-in bar, Chuck poured a glass of his favorite scotch polishing it off in one gulp.

Blair watched with shock as he than poured another and ran his fingers agitatedly through his hair. "I will kill him."

She didn't for one moment doubt the truth of his statement. His hand already raising the glass to his lips, Blair rushed to stop him from taking another drink. Untangling his clenching fingers one by one from the glass, she twined them in hers and led him away from the bar.

"It isn't what you think. I am a virgin. Or at least Audrey is. Jack and I were waiting for our wedding night."

Chuck stared at her in bemusement, his anger falling away as the enormity of her statement hit him. "You're a virgin?"

"Yes," she replied simply, avoiding his eyes.

"Blair Waldorf was not a virgin," Chuck said with a smirk. "In fact—."

"I got that from the memories," Blair interrupted, hastily. "No need to go into details"

Chuck advanced on her, with each step forward he took; she took one step backwards until she ran into the back of the couch. With one hand Chuck reached up to cup her face, his caress tender and reverent. "Blair," he murmured.

Blair leaned into his touch, for just a moment recalling the loving and passionate Chuck from her visions who touched her with such gentleness. Staring deeply into his eyes, she felt like she was drowning in a vortex of need and want. Her body wanted him, her nipples hardening painfully, her thighs growing moist at his nearness. Her body knew him, recognized him, and it terrified her.

"My name is Audrey," she said coldly.

Chuck groaned aloud. "How many times must we go through this? You are Blair Waldorf. Just accept it."

Blair looked at him with pain filled eyes. "I can't. It isn't that easy. You are asking me to throw away my entire identity. Right now Audrey is all I know."

"It won't last. I promise you will remember and then you will be mine again," Chuck vowed.

"You don't know that!" Blair shouted. "What if this is all there is?"

"I won't accept that. Audrey or Blair - I _will_ show you that you belong to me."

Chuck's lips came crashing down on hers, his tongue plunging passionately into her mouth. Blair raised her hands to push him away, only to have them forsake her by clutching Chuck's silk shirt and drawing him even closer to her. With a moan she gave in, softly opening her mouth to his onslaught. She was drowning in passion as flames licked at her skin. She wanted, no, she needed him, now. His hand slid the shoulder of her robe down; baring soft, ivory skin.

The sound of the key card in the lock brought her back to reality. Afraid at how easily she had succumbed to his kisses she pushed him away. Running to the opposite end of the room she waited for him to curse at her in anger. Instead - to her surprise - he only smiled.

"Audrey," Serena greeted cheerily, as she entered the penthouse suite.

"Does everyone have a key to my room?" Blair called out with irritation.

"As always, perfect timing, Serena." Chuck said cuttingly, smoothing his shirt and tucking it back into his trousers.

"I'm sorry, did I interrupt something?" Serena said, looking at Chuck warningly. She wasn't blind and she knew Chuck.

Blair shrugged her shoulders, rolling her eyes. "Nothing important."

Serena smiled, holding out her arm to the figure that had been waiting patiently in the doorway.

"Audrey, I'd like you to meet Nate, the fourth member of our little Breakfast Club."

Nate stepped into the room and with a joyful smile on his face he rushed to embrace Blair. "I thought you were dead." Placing a hand under her chin he lifted her head up so he could better look into her eyes. "I can see now Chuck was right. It's you, really you," he said with awe. Wetness glimmered in the corners of his eyes as he leaned in to press his lips gently against her forehead.

Instead of pushing him away, Blair leaned into his embrace. His innocent happiness at seeing her tugged at the wall she had built around her heart. Of all people she understood what it was like to lose something precious. For the first time she felt safe and warm. It wasn't like being home, but it felt comfortable. Not at all like the terrifying fire that seemed to consume her when she looked at Chuck.

Chuck glared at the two of them in shock, his chest suddenly feeling tight and raw like an exposed wound. The comfort and ease with which Blair had succumbed to Nate's arms made him feel sick. While he had suspected Nate might still harbor feelings for his fiancé he hadn't expected him to act on them this soon, or that Blair would reciprocate.

Suddenly feeling very much like a stranger intruding on something very private, Chuck cleared his throat, looking to Serena for help. He didn't know whether to punch Nate, grab Blair or a combination of the two. To his intense relief Serena gave a nod that she understood and would help, relaxing the needle like tension he had been feeling ever since Nate had entered the room.

"Nate, Blair really needs to get dressed. She is still in her negligee, and we have tons of things we need to do, so now is really not the time for you to revisit old times," Serena said sharply.

Gently Blair pushed Nate away as if he was as fragile as glass. "I will be back and then we will have plenty of time to reminisce."

"I brought you some more clothes, Blair," Serena announced happily, rolling a suitcase on wheels into the bedroom.

"As much as I love wearing your cast-offs, and by that I mean I _don't_," Blair said pointedly, with a friendly look in Serena's direction that softened her tone. "I need to get my own clothes back from Jack."

"You will not wear another article of clothing that asshole has bought you as long as there is breath in my body."

"Who are you to stop me?" Blair asked Chuck tartly. "Those are my clothes, that I picked out. They are mine not Jack's."

"Try me, Blair. You wear anything from that man and I will tear it off you so fast your head will spin," Chuck said harshly. Noticing the way her chin rose at him stubbornly and her eyes flashed he wisely decided on a different tactic. "Then again maybe this is part of your ploy to seduce me. Maybe you want me to rip your clothes off?" Chuck asked, giving her a lazy smile.

"Chuck, I really don't think that is appropriate," Nate replied hesitatingly. "If she wants to wear Jack's clothes I really don't think we should pressure her otherwise. She has," Nate had to swallow before continuing, "been wearing clothes provided by him for the last few years and if that makes her feel more comfortable then let her."

Shaking his head, Chuck caught and held Blair's eyes. "No, absolutely not. Nothing that has any association with Jack will ever touch you again," he said with a tone that forbade any argument.

"Then what would you have me wear?" Blair asked coolly.

"You have to ask?" Chuck drawled.

"I am not going to go traipsing all over NY in Serena's robes and negligees," Blair said disdainfully.

Chuck's eyes glinted mischievously. "As lovely and satisfying as that would be, I had hoped that you would allow me to take you shopping, instead."

"What, so you can play at Pretty Woman?"

"You are hardly a prostitute and I am not a pimp. Although we can play that if you like," Chuck leered.

Blair, suddenly feeling very naked and exposed, clutched at the belt of her robe, drawing it even closer. "Do I have any money of my own?" She asked turning to look at Serena and Nate.

"Yes, but in your will it reverted back to me." Chuck said with a devious grin. "If you want any you better be prepared to treat me very nice."

"You make me sick," Blair spat.

"Music to my ears, Blair," Chuck taunted lazily. "Keep it up and I won't be able to keep my hands off you."

Nate sighed heavily, "He's right Blair. Chuck received your estate when you died. Until you petition the courts and overturn your death certificate he holds your purse strings."

"However, if Chuck wanted to get in your good graces perhaps he would just hand the money over," Serena interjected with a pleading look in Chuck's direction.

"If not, I am perfectly willing to be at your service. I have more then enough to buy you a new wardrobe," Nate offered with a smile.

"No," Chuck said sharply. "She is my fiancé and I will take care of her."

Blair's eyes darkened, her mouth tightening into a thin line. "I am not your fiancé anymore," she said accusingly. "I don't want to be beholden to you or anyone. If you would just hand over what I am owed without the court system I would be very appreciative."

Chuck regarded her slowly through slit eyes. "I believe I can advance you enough to cover a new wardrobe before we go through the court systems. Which we will need to do to in order to have you declared alive."

"Well, thank you for giving me my money to spend," Blair said flatly.

"Just one request, you go shopping with me," Chuck said with a shrug.

Serena looked at Chuck in puzzlement. "Why on earth would you want to go shopping for girls clothing?"

Made aware of the absurdity of her question as all eyes turned to her, Serena slapped her forehead with her hand. "Never mind. That is ridiculous, Blair, I will pay for your clothes."

"No, I am sick and tired of using everyone else's money. If Chuck is truly offering to allow me to spend my own money I am perfectly willing to have him tag along for hours upon hours of shopping and deliberating over what outfit makes me look less fat," Blair said with a sneaky look at Serena. She was sure that like most males Chuck would be bored after the first hour and would soon be begging to be released from their deal.

"I can't imagine a better way to spend the day than watching you parade around in various states of undress," Chuck replied with a lascivious wink. "I'll wait for you to get dressed and then we will go."

"Would you like me to come with you?" Nate offered. He was almost afraid that if he let her out of his sight she would disappear once more.

Blair smiled at him gently. "No, I think it is better if it is just Chuck and I. I promise when I get back we will spend some time together. I want to know everything about our past." She really didn't, but she understood that that was what Nate needed to hear.

"Dinner tonight?" Nate asked hopefully.

Blair was about to refuse, plead exhaustion, but she didn't get a chance.

"She's busy," Chuck said coldly.

Whirling her head around, Blair glared at Chuck. How dare he plan her schedule as if she was one of his many subordinates? "I'd be delighted," she accepted sweetly.

Chuck flicked an icy glance in Nate's direction as he hugged Blair goodbye and promised to return later that evening. Serena, catching Chuck's eye, tried to reassure him that all would be well. Even though she wondered, with a sinking heart, if perhaps Blair spending time with Nate was not the best idea. Either way she wasn't about to intrude on anything that made Blair happy. With a little wave at Blair she left the room.

Heading into her bedroom Blair rummaged through the clothes in Serena's suitcase. With careful deliberation she chose the plainest, most figure covering clothes she could.

When Blair exited the bedroom in a long sundress with a jacket buttoned all the way to her neck, and her hair pulled back in a prim bun, Chuck had to grin. The whole outfit went against everything Blair was. Chuck may not know Audrey, but he knew that Blair would never willingly wear something like that unless she was trying to prove a point. Deliberate or subconscious? He mused briefly before realizing the truth in her small mouth and fiery eyes. She was fighting him, declaring war in her own way.

He had never been able to resist taunting her. "Submission is not your forte, Blair. Hide as much as you like in those clothes, but nothing will keep me from remembering every delicious curve of your body, in painstaking detail." he rasped.

Blair wanted to retort something clever and witty, but she was suddenly mesmerized. Her eyes focused on his tie, the dark silk knot that had slipped. Almost as if it had been tugged down a little in frustration. The top button of his shirt was undone as if he had found the constriction of his clothes annoying. Her gaze centered on his taunt throat that rose above his tie and her mouth went dry. She suddenly remembered with knife like precision exactly how and where he liked to be kissed and touched.

"Here," Chuck said walking towards her with a glass of scotch in his hand. "I think you need this more than I do."

"No," she shook her head. "I need all my faculties in running order if I am going to be dealing with Chuck Bass."

Chuck merely smiled. He would have to have been blind not to notice the effect he had on her. The sad thing was that even in her very unflattering clothes he was still so sexually charged by her appearance that he wanted to lift her dress and bend her over the couch then and there. If only he could get her to understand that they belonged together. Where Blair began Chuck ended.

"I had the limo brought around."

Blair gave him a look of distaste. "That damn limo, you know exactly what it does to me and yet you persist in throwing it in my face every chance you get."

Chuck cast her a look of wide-eyed innocence. "I have no idea what you' re talking about."

"I lost my virginity to you in that limo and every time I am in it I relive it over and over. I am sick and tired of you manipulating me that way. If you want to go dress shopping you will need to provide an alternative type of transportation," Blair replied with a frown.

"What if I like having you remember the way I pleasured you, the way I made you writhe, moan and beg like a bitch in heat?" Chuck said, his voice as smooth as melted caramel.

Blair shook her head. "No more, Chuck. I won't be your puppet anymore. Either you retire the limo for the time being or I fall back on Nate's offer of a loan."

"Fine," Chuck snarled. "I will have another car brought around. Would you prefer the Rolls or would you like me to drive you myself in the Jag?"

Blair smiled sweetly, her face as innocent as an angel's. "The Rolls will be fine."

It took seconds before Chuck's Rolls Royce was brought around to the front of the hotel.

Seating herself next to Chuck, Blair tried to ignore how close they were. While the limo may have held more memories at least she could sit across from Chuck and keep him at a distance. With the Rolls there wasn't as much room. They were sitting so close she could feel his thigh against hers and she had to clench her fist to keep from reaching out and touching him.

Swallowing her sudden desire back, she looked forcefully out the window at the passing landscape of people.

* * *

Dior, Armani, Chanel, and Gucci. They did them all. With Chuck's connections not once did she have to mingle with the general public. Magically whisked away to the private VIP showrooms every time they entered a store she was treated like a queen. Waited on as coordinated outfit after outfit was brought out for her approval. Once the item was tried on there were seamstresses to custom fit each and every piece of clothing. If Blair had thought Chuck would soon tire of this she had been wrong. While he said very little, he sat in the corner, his eyes missing nothing. Every so often he would offer a comment about color, fit or design like an expert. Soon Blair found herself grateful for his thoughts and opinions. He knew what would look good on her before she had even tried it on.

Blair could feel Chuck watching her, his heavy lidded eyes following her as she fluttered around the room in various states of undress. Sensing his desire Blair preened in front of the mirrors, throwing a taunting glance over her shoulder every so often. She knew she was playing with fire, but yet she couldn't seem to stop herself. Wriggling into a slinky, blue velvet dress she posed, peeking over her shoulder at him.

"Does this make me look fat?" she asked petulantly.

Chuck rose, uncomfortably adjusting his trousers over his throbbing hardness. Skimming her hips with his hands he leaned in to whisper along her exposed collarbone, his breath leaving a hot trail up her neck, "Would you like me to prove just how stunning you are by giving the sales girls an x-rated show?"

With a small flirtatious smile she stepped away from him. "Good, then it will be perfect for my date with Nate tonight."

Chuck pulled her flush against him, his fingers bruising her hipbones that protruded ever so slightly from her figure. He held her so tight he could feel the blood running through her veins and the muscular tissue that surrounded her bones. His mouth descended to the curve of her neck, his mouth so tight against her perfumed skin he could taste her.

"Don't play with me, Blair," he rasped against the tender skin of her neck. Blair arched her back in an attempt to escape his attentions, but he wouldn't let her go. She had tempted and teased him enough for one day and now he would teach her that playing with fire only got you burned. His lips slid over the curve of her neck, his teeth scraping over her pulse point. Blair shuddered as her body responded to his closeness, her breath growing shallow and aroused.

"Please Chuck," she whispered. "It isn't me you want, it's Blair."

"Audrey, Blair, I don't care," Chuck replied indifferently, his mouth sucking at the tender skin that teased and tempted him. "You were made for me."

"I can't," Blair said, tears already gathering in the corners of her eyes. "I am not who you think I am."

"You are exactly who I think you are…mine," Chuck countered with a groan as his body fit perfectly against hers.

Blair succumbed to his will for a moment, her lush body melting into his, his hands roving over her curves setting her afire. Wet and turned on beyond expectation it took all of her will to step away from him.

"No," she started, turning to face him. "I won't be your toy, your substitute for her."

Chuck reached out to grip her chin tightly, his eyes catching hers. "You could never be a substitute for her. You are her, my love, my _life_."

"That is where you are wrong," Blair said sadly. "I am a shell of the women you once loved and the sooner you recognize that the better. I will never be her."

"No, I would love you—"

The young saleslady not yet experienced enough to know when not to interfere with influential clients interrupted, "Mr. Bass, shall we add this dress to your collection of purchases?"

The moment lost, Chuck mentally cursed the saleslady. "We will take it all," he said confidently, yet at the same time expecting Blair to argue. To his surprise she said nothing. Clearly exhausted she dressed once more in her nun like clothes and stood passive as her purchases were boxed and readied for delivery.

The clothes and accessories were added to his account and without delay they left the store for the hotel. Blair was quiet, deep in thought along the way. Chuck tried to engage her in conversation at several times only to receive monosyllables in response. Blair or Audrey had shut down and there would be no more sharing or communication between them for now.

Reaching over he grasped her hand. "Promise me dinner tomorrow. If you can give Nate dinner tonight you owe me nothing less.

Blair turned to look at him, her eyes large and scared. "I owe you nothing."

"Give me dinner at least," Chuck cajoled. "I'm not asking for much."

Tilting her head to the side, she carefully considered his proposal. Perhaps she did owe him. After everything he had done to force the truth on her, set her free, perhaps he did deserve a reward. And as much as she wanted to she couldn't ignore the small secret part of her that wanted nothing more than to spend time with him.

"Tomorrow, at seven. I am yours. But there will be boundaries. No touching, no guilt. We meet openly as the friends we surely were before everything else happened."

Chuck smiled at her craftily. He would show her just exactly how friendly the relationship between Blair and Chuck had been.

"Perfect," he stated with a smirk. "I will arrange for dinner in your suite."

Blair shook her head violently. "No, public places only. I don't trust you to keep your hands off."

"Fine," Chuck sighed. "We will attend the hotel dining room at the Palace. You used to love eating there."

"It's a date then," she uttered before she had a chance to consider her choice of words. "I mean, not a date exactly, but a meal… we are sharing as friends," she continued firmly.

"It's a date," Chuck said with a confident smirk.

Blair only rolled her eyes, exiting the vehicle with haste. Glad to once more be out of the tempting reach of a certain Chuck Bass.

* * *

This story now has exactly 100 alerts! :O Thanks so much to everyone who has ever reviewed or alerted this story. I wouldn't be writing this if it weren't for you. :D

As always love to my reviewers: fadingtales, SnowedUnderNJ, chairobsesser, gleechild, ronan03, JYLlian, Pao, annablake, Poinsettia, Syrianora, READER120, TriGemini, Hngauthier, xoxo - Amber, nostalgiakills, uncorazonquebrado, BassBillionaire, odyjha, BrittyKay247, , Krism, hockeyrocks1323, xoxogg4lifexoxo, Shanynde, chairlovforever, BassKingdom, abelard, GossipGirlFanForever, cakebakery and Krazy4Spike.

Thanks to Camilla, Chole and Elli for looking this over and giving me their input. If I am forgetting anyone please let me know. This chapter has been floating around for a while. ;)


	11. Chapter 11

Nate Archibald knocked on the door of Blair's hotel suite promptly at seven. Even though she had expected his arrival, the sound filled Blair with dread. She was not looking forward to this evening's dinner. Ever since she had gotten back from shopping with Chuck she had thought about how best to deal with Nate. She would have been blind not to notice Chuck's jealousy towards Nate where she was concerned. Surely there must have been something between her and Nate once, she just couldn't remember. To her dismay, all she could seem to remember was Chuck and his kisses, the way he touched her and the bliss she found in his arms.

Opening the door she was surprised to see that Nate carried a large bouquet of hydrangeas.

"Your favorite," he said with a smile, handing her the flowers.

Feeling suddenly very uncomfortable, Blair let him into her suite. "Blair's favorite," she corrected him.

Nate looked at her in puzzlement.

"My favorite flowers are peonies." Walking over to the bar Blair opened first one cupboard and than another before finding vase. Unwrapping the flowers she arranged them artfully, setting them on the table. Catching sight of Nate's disappointed face she felt compelled to add, "But thank you. These are very beautiful."

"But you're, Blair" he insisted stubbornly.

"I am, but I'm not," she answered in frustration. "When you see me you see Blair, but when I look in the mirror I see Audrey. Now, thanks to Chuck's very crude intervention, I know that my true identity is Blair Waldorf, but inside I feel very much like Audrey Hawthorne."

"Do you remember much of your life before…" Nate stumbled, as he tried to think of the right words to use, "the accident," he finally finished lamely.

Blair swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry. How could she explain to him that the few memories she had involved Chuck and the way they had made love? "A little about my life with Chuck," she said cautiously.

"Do you remember me?" he asked eagerly.

"Not really," she replied bluntly, not wanting him to get his hopes up.

Nate looked at the floor. "We used to be a couple, long before you got together with Chuck."

Blair sighed, she suddenly felt very tired. "I really don't remember."

"What do you remember? Perhaps I can fill in the blanks? Help you to remember?" he asked hopefully.

"Maybe, but lets eat first," she replied, startling herself. Generally, the last thing she wanted to do was eat, but she needed a distraction.

"Of course," Nate said. "I was told you're not supposed to leave the hotel so I ordered in sushi for us. It should be arriving at any moment."

Blair lifted her chin stubbornly. "Who said I wasn't supposed to leave the hotel?"

"Why, Chuck did." Nate shifted from one foot to the next nervously, watching her like she was a dangerous animal he wasn't quite sure how to handle.

"How dare he!" she exclaimed. "It's almost like he wants to keep me a prisoner here."

Nate shook his head. "I am sure that is not it at all. He just wants to keep you safe. Jack is still out there," he answered soothingly.

"I can take care of myself," Blair said in a deadly tone.

"I'm not sure—"

Blair interrupted him," Sooner or later I am going to need to see Jack. Chuck can't protect me forever."

Nate didn't know what to say. How could he tell her that after everything that had happened they, he, was terrified of losing her again? He understood completely Chuck's motivation for keeping her at The Palace. Luckily he was saved from answering by the deliveryman arriving with their dinner.

Pulling out a chair for Blair he seated her at the table. "I hope you don't mind that I ordered Blair's favorites."

"That's fine. For the most part we seem to have similar tastes," she replied. "Except where a certain Chuck Bass is concerned," Blair added, with a dark look.

Nate ignored her comment. Unpacking the bento boxes of sushi he had ordered, he placed one in front of Blair and one at his own seat."

"You always loved the spicy tuna rolls."

Using her chopsticks Blair took a small bite. "It seems I still do," she said with a smile.

"I bet you have more in common with Blair than you even realize," Nate said in-between bites of sashimi.

"Maybe," she conceded. "But I am not ready to admit that quite yet, especially to Chuck."

With a blink Nate's eyes shadowed. "When we were young it was just the two of us. I swear by the time we were six, you had our entire life planned out," he said with a laugh. "We were going to get married right after college, and I was going to be some high powered executive and you were going to be the perfect society wife. You made it seem so real and golden. Something to strive for."

Blair took his hand in hers. "Nate, I am sorry to disappoint you, but that future is never going to happen."

"I know that now," he said sadly. "It still is really all about Chuck."

Dropping her chopsticks on the table with a crash, Blair glared at Nate. "Chuck has nothing to do with this."

"It's always about Chuck," Nate said ruefully. "The night before your accident I came to see you to tell you not to marry him, that we belonged together."

Blair leaned in. "What happened?" she asked breathlessly.

For just a moment Nate was conflicted. Should he tell her the truth and lose her forever to Chuck. He knew without a doubt what Chuck would do. Chuck would lie, scheme and cheat, anything necessary to win Blair, but Nate didn't operate that way.

"You turned me down," he said with a bitter smile. "You kindly reminded me why we worked so much better as friends."

"Were we friends?" Blair asked tentatively.

"Maybe not always, but when it was important we were," Nate replied with a far away look in his eye.

"Maybe we can be friends again. Start over?"

"I would like that," Nate said softly, meeting her eyes. "There is something else you should know, the night of our conversation you had a huge fight with Chuck. You told him about our conversation and the last words he spoke to you were in anger. I don't know if it makes a difference, but you should know Chuck blamed himself for the accident."

Blair looked at him in shock. "That's ridiculous. It wasn't his fault. Jack had to have been planning my kidnapping for months."

"He didn't know that until later. When he thought you were dead he was a mess. Serena and I seriously thought about committing him. He saw you everywhere, talked to you as if you were still alive. We didn't know what to do."

Fiddling with her chopsticks, Blair debated how much she should share with Nate. Looking into his sincere eyes, she suddenly knew she could trust him. "I think I used to dream of him. When things were at their worst I used to see a dark haired man with eyes that I swore could see my soul. I used to tell Jack about my dreams and he would scoff and call them hallucinations of a fragile mind, and then the next day I would have a medication change," she said in a small voice.

"You need to know, that if I had known…" he paused and corrected himself, "If we had known that you were still alive there is nothing that would have stopped us from trying to find you."

Blair felt tears prick the corners of her eyes at his words. "I know," she answered. "I don't blame you."

Nate exhaled slowly feeling as if a great weight had been lifted from his heart.

"Tell me about, Blair?" She laughed harshly. "I mean me."

"Do you want the edited or unedited version?"

"Either," Blair replied with a shrug of her shoulders.

"You had the perfect life. You were the princess of the UES and you knew it. From the time you were five you had your life and mine completely mapped out. You were controlling, managing and exhausting, but I managed not to let it bother me most of the time."

Blair wrinkled her nose in distaste. "You make me sound awful."

"You could be," Nate replied with a chuckle. "But when the chips were down you were the one person I most wanted to have in my corner. You were the most fiercely loyal person I have ever known and when it came to your friends there was nothing you wouldn't do for them."

"It seems the feeling is sickeningly mutual. Without you, Serena and Chuck I would still be Jack's little scientific experiment," Blair replied with a cynical twist to her lips.

"What exactly did he do to you?" Nate asked with a delicacy he didn't feel.

Blair picked at her sushi, avoiding Nate's eyes. "I don't really know. I remember being told I was in an accident and I had suffered a brain injury. After that there were treatments, pills and endless doctor visits. Mostly, I remember Jack."

"He treated you well? Didn't hurt you?"

"If you discount the kidnapping and mind rape he treated me as if I was a beloved fiancé. Of course he was a bit controlling, but that seems to be a Bass family trait," Blair said with a hint of sarcasm.

Nate let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding. "Chuck loves you, you know."

"He loves Blair," she said with a rueful smile.

Pushing aside his bento box, Nate paused before answering, "I don't think he sees a difference. Blair or Audrey it is all the same to him. He just loves you."

"But who am I?" Blair asked with large fearful eyes.

"Whoever you want to be," Nate replied with a gentle smile.

Giving Nate her first genuine smile of the evening Blair took another bite of her food.

"Tell me about Audrey?" he asked.

Blair sighed heavily. "There isn't much to tell since most of it is lies. I am not sure anymore what is me and what is the Audrey, Jack manufactured."

"Maybe I can help figure out the truth from the lies?" Nate couldn't help the pleading tone in his voice. He wanted to get to know this new creature that looked like Blair, talked like her, and yet still wasn't her.

"I was raised in Connecticut and my parents died when I was in my teens—." Blair started, her eyes suddenly lighting up like stars. "I think I remember them… My mother used to sketch and draw and my dad he used to take me ice skating." She rose from the table and began pacing the room excitedly. "I can't remember their names, but I can see their faces."

Nate watched her with a disturbed expression on his face. His stomach churned and he could feel the sashimi he had just eaten rise up and hit him in the back of the throat.

Throwing her arms around Nate with happiness, Blair continued to babble about her parents and he realized with a sinking feeling she was about to have her world shattered once more. In that moment he wished for Chuck. He didn't know what to say, what to do.

Pushing Blair away, he held her at arms length. "Your parent's names were Eleanor and Harold Waldorf. "

"Eleanor and Harold Waldorf," she repeated joyfully. "I remember them. They were very happy…" she paused her face loosing some of its animation, "Or they were once. Something happened," she said with a frown.

"They got a divorce when you were sixteen, but they both ended up happily with other people. Your mother remarried when you were eighteen to a lawyer name Cyrus—"

Blair interrupted him, her face glowing, "Rose. I remember, he looks like a funny gnome, but he is the sweetest man and he makes my mother very happy. So I manage to overlook his unfortunate looks," she laughed merrily.

Nate dreaded the question because he knew that was coming next. Of all the times for her to remember her parents why did it have to happen when he was with her. He needed Chuck and Serena. Without them he didn't know what to do.

"Do they know I am alive? Can I see them," Blair begged him.

Taking a deep breath Nate steadied himself for the scene that he was sure was to erupt. "I'm so sorry, Blair."

Blair lifted her head at the use of the foreign sounding name, yet she didn't correct him. "What are you sorry for? Did we have a huge fight and they cut me out?" she asked laughingly. "I am sure all will be forgiven once they know I am alive."

Nate felt his heart break at what he was about to tell her. "If they were here I know they would be overjoyed to see you," he offered lamely, dancing around the subject.

Looking at him shrewdly, Blair asked, "What do you mean if they were here now?"

Staring down at his hands, Nate racked his brains for the right words and came up with nothing. "You need to ask Chuck."

Blair's body buzzed with irritation, "I am asking you, Nate, as my friend, to tell me exactly what is going on with my parents."

Nate stared at his feet. "They're dead," he mumbled.

Falling to the velvet couch in a heap, Blair sat as still as a statue. "How did it happen?"

Uncomfortable and feeling completely out of his league Nate fell back on the one person he knew who could help. "Let me call Chuck."

"No, you're supposed to be my friend, and because friend don't keep secrets, you will tell me everything," she threatened, her voice taunt.

"It was a car accident. The limo at the funeral that carried your parents was struck head on and they were all killed."

Blair felt as if her heart had been ripped from her chest. First one tear trickled down her cheek and than another and before she even registered what she was doing she was sobbing in Nate's arms.

Nate held her awkwardly his hand smoothing circles through the thin silk of her blue dress. She let him hold her as she cried out her grief and loss at not only losing her parents, but the loss of the future they might have had.

Unfortunately, Chuck chose that moment to come barging in. Already walking a thin tightrope when it came to Blair, seeing her in Nate's arms was the straw that broke the camels back. His vision blurred with red streaks as he pounced on the couple.

"What are you doing to her?" He shouted angrily, thrusting Blair out of Nate's arms he shoved her into one of the wingback chairs that decorated the suite.

"I trusted you," Chuck said accusingly to Nate, his eyes wild like a ferocious beast.

"Chuck, it isn't what you think," Nate said pleadingly.

"I think it is exactly what I think. After everything that has happened how dare you put your arms around her? If it weren't for you we would never have fought before she got on that plane. Now that she is back you just couldn't wait to insinuate yourself back into her life, steal her away," Chuck choked out.

"No, it isn't like that, I swear," Nate said, even as he flushed guiltily. Because hadn't he come over that night to find out if there was still something between them?

Blair rose from her chair. "How dare you?"

"How dare I what?" Chuck asked angrily.

"Misconstrue a comforting hug for one of your slimy lecherous moves," she stated with hate filled words.

You didn't seem to mind my lecherous moves when I kissed you today, in fact I remember you distinctly enjoying them," he said the very devil in his eyes.

"That's because in my weakened condition I could hardly refuse," Blair replied.

"Chuck, it really isn't what you think," Nate said warningly.

Blair turned to Nate. "I think you need to leave."

"No, Blair. I won't leave you with him when he's like this," Nate replied firmly.

"That's rich," Chuck laughed. You're going to protect her from the one person that would never harm a hair on her head."

Blair reached out to grab Nate's wrist. "You need to go now. I need to talk to Chuck alone. He owes me some answers," Blair said with an angry look in Chuck's direction.

Nate looked as if he would hesitate so she pulled him into an embrace. "I will be fine," she whispered in his ear. "But if you are my friend you will leave now."

Nodding, Nate made his way to the door. "I truly am sorry, Blair."

"I know," she murmured, letting him get away with calling her Blair again. "Thank you for dinner."

"It was my pleasure," Nate said with a sad little smile before leaving the room. "I will call you tomorrow to make sure you're okay."

Blair nodded, closing the door behind him gently. Whirling around she faced Chuck. "How dare you interrupt my date with Nate?"

"Is that what it was, a date?" Chuck said with a mocking laugh.

"It wasn't like that," Blair said, her eyes filled with fury. "He is my friend."

"That is what you said last time and look how that turned out," Chuck retorted.

"You can hardly blame him for Jack's misdeeds," Blair said with a frustrated shrug.

"Oh, I don't, but I do blame him for encroaching on my territory. You are mine, Blair and the sooner you accept it the better. "

Blair inhaled sharply, and when she spoke her voice was barely controlled. "I am not yours and the more you say that the less I ever want to be yours."

"Why was he touching you," Chuck asked not able to keep the jealousy from his voice.

"I started to remember my parents," Blair said watching Chuck carefully. She wanted to know if he would have the guts to tell her the truth or if he would hide it from her like she was some child.

Chuck felt the blood drain slowly from his face. Of all the things he expected her to remember this was the one he dreaded the most.

"That's wonderful," he offered faintly.

"I want to see them, Chuck," she demanded.

With a world-weary sigh, Chuck sat down on the small couch in the room. Patting the place next to him he spoke, "Sit with me," he pleaded. He wanted her close, within his reach when he told her the truth. When she stood aloof from him he realized that she already knew the truth.

Blair felt tears fill her eyes as she realized that by his actions he was confirming what Nate had said. They were truly gone, another casualty of Jack and his obsession.

"How could you not tell me?" she pleaded.

"I didn't want to upset you," Chuck replied defensively.

"So you thought you would wait until I blundered unto the subject and poor Nate had to deliver the news?"

"I didn't think you were strong enough. It was only yesterday you found out your fiancé had been brainwashing you for years," Chuck replied, his voice begging for understanding.

"I won't be treated with kid gloves like I am something that could break at any second," she paused in the middle of her tirade to look at Chuck with tragic eyes. "I remember them…Eleanor and Harold Waldorf and I even remember Cyrus and his funny ways."

Even though Chuck's heart was breaking for Blair he couldn't help the excitement he felt at her remembering. It was a huge step in the right direction. If she could remember her parents, who was to say he wouldn't be next. The thought exhilarated him, his anger at Nate instantly dissipating. He wanted to fold her into his arms and press kisses over her face, her eyelids, and her throat and comfort her the only way he knew how.

"I can't believe they're gone," she said brokenly before bursting once more into tears.

"I know," he said softly. Rising from the couch, he gathered her in his arms and to his happiness she didn't resist. She buried her face in the front of his dress shirt, her fingers clenching at the fine fabric.

Whispering nonsensical words of endearments, Chuck felt wave after wave of pleasure and happiness at being close to her. For the first time in three years he was home and while he cursed the tragedy that brought them together he was glad it was bringing him closer to her. Nestling his nose in her silken curls he inhaled her sweet and familiar scent and he was comforted, all of the doubts he had falling away. They were two halves of the same whole and he knew without a doubt that soon she would recognize that.

As she continued to cry, he lifted her in his arms, ignoring her murmurs of protest. Carrying her into the bedroom he pulled back the down filled coverlet and laid her gently in the bed as if she was truly breakable. When he climbed in next to her and she sighed, he thanked whatever God there was for this unexpected gift.

Her head curled into his wet shirt, his strong arms wrapped around her she finally fell asleep. He watched her sleep for hours, afraid that if he also succumbed he would wake to find it all a dream. Finally, eyes dry and aching he could take it no longer and his lids slowly lowered. Limbs curled together, hear to heart, they slept as one for the first time in three years.

* * *

This chapter has been sitting in my hard drive forever. I have been meaning to work on this, but I got so caught up in High Society, My Love, My Enemy and Violets At Her Feet that this story got horribly neglected. I wrote this a long time ago, but I thought I would share it in hopes it would inspire me to finish working on this story.

This chapter has not been beta'd. I apologize for any issues. All mistakes are mine.

Thanks to my wonderful reviewers: Rhea, V, Wewakewewonder, smartin555, Jen, Stella296, batgirl2992, dreamgurl, Syrianora, JYLlian, annablake, xoxo - Amber, SnowedUnderNJ, pam211, TriGemini, Hngauthier, Poinsettia, ple, Lil Miss Chuckles, sweetshorti868, chairobsesser, uncorazonquebrado, David, BrittyKay247, BassBillionaire, Krism, Krazy4Spike, BassKingdom, ronan03, past-the-pacific, PattyWoods, READER120, abelard, Guardian Izz, LittleRed22, xoxogg4lifexoxo, RustyJimmy, chairlovforever and ggff-fan.


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